quite possibly the last post of the year. 2007, you haven't always been good to me, but i appreciate all the memories nonetheless.
yeahp, I've aged. older and wiser(i hope) and more aware of whats happening around me. like boom, i grew up overnight. no longer the boy i saw myself as back in polytechnic. growing up with a lot of extra responsibilities now. there's so many things i have, i want and i know i have to do and accomplish. Army made me grow up and face my fears. no route or avenue to run to in shame. i shock myself when i see pictures of me now and that of me at the beginning of the year. apart from physical changes, i saw a part of me that i left behind. more years of aging and maturing to come.
hasn't been a particularly good financial year. possibly the year of my highest expenditure thus far in life. spent money on all sorts of stuff. wasted quite a bit. I'm sorry, money. spent and spent like water and if i'm spending like this when it only says 20 on my forehead, would be hard to see what i'll turn out to be in like... 5 years to come. guess i'll have to come up with some sort of financial plan for 2008. and as usual, why am i spending money to watch myself suffer. funny, hahaha
not the year for love either it seemed. everything fell apart on me and at times left me wondering if it was me. truthfully, i think its me la who screwed up. brains didn't work fine and made me do stupid things that i oh-so-regret now. got to know lovely people and lost some equally lovely ones as well.
why do good things have to come to an end. sometimes i secretly hoped, wished or prayed that a word of SORRY can piece together torn/shattered fragments of memories again. it was only the week before Valentine's Day and I hurt you like no nothing has ever done. i thought i moved on, it was hard. but i did. sometimes i still think of you, sometimes i look at old pictures of us doing stupid stuff and i smile.
i thought i picked myself up months later and moved on with someone else. heartless bastard, you must have thought. in truth, it never happened for me. the Army called, it was tough. and then boom, it was all over. she left. some things just weren't meant to be. but if YOU happen to be reading this, know that you taught me so much. I never faulted or blamed you.
you are and always would be someone special in my heart.
thank you, q
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2007, you've outstayed your welcome (:
5:00 PM