yeah. i still am not. hahaha. so 8(or maybe) weeks have passed and I'm going to POP soon.
out of Tekong and into a new phase of military life at a unit.
the pain in my chest persists even after a week of medication. gonna have to seek further medical attention i guess. i feel my body breaking down sometimes from over-exertion.
i feel changed. like how hardship can really mould your mind.
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I've changed physically, I've changed mentally. a lot stronger perhaps, but still some traces of weakness. i hate to be weak. or show that side of me to people.
WHAT IS DEATH TO YOU? ARE YOU AFRAID? after hovering and sitting on the fence for quite some time, ill say that I'm not afraid of Death. at least for now, for this very moment. I remember telling someone :" you only die once. treasure Life, no doubt. but what if Death claims you in an accident? are you prepared? you DIE, BOOM and you are DEAD. does everything else matter anymore? "
people would mourn for you. people would be angry that you left the world and left so many unfinished tasks to be cleaned up. you are irresponsible, you are not mentally matured to live Life. but what if its for a better place for the body, mind and soul? do we even know?
no, i'm not suicidal nor do i consider these thoughts morbid. but with much thought, I told myself I'll live Life everyday like its my last. so if Death claims me, then it does. Look forward to dying, not exactly a phrase you'll see in the vocabulary of some random optimistic idiot out there.
had another one of those heart-to-heart talks with Han at the live range. always good to provide a listening ear. its like how you hear about another person's Life. and reflect upon your own and what has happened. talk about how the last few years of living has been. the ups and downs. the pleasure and pain. inner demons as well. interesting, respect
like how Shannon said, the happiest people on the outside are the most tormented inside
. how true is that. touch your heart and answer yourself. the answer is within.
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see. emo-nonsensical again. and i wanted to blog about happy stuff okay i swear. didn't work out as planned. and i gotta book in now. darn. TIME, OH WHY FATHER TIME.
2:49 PM