back from a week at new unit. 6th SIR.
first few days were tormenting. it wasn't the physical part of it all, but rather, all mental.
never thought ill end up there. with people so different. thought I've always been versatile enough to be around people from all backgrounds. so wrong, it hurts.
things move at a snail's pace in there. old run-down buildings and facilities, the daily running of the place, attitude of the people there, dark and claustrophobia-inducing bunks, various lowlives.
so many of the BMTC guys posted in with me were trying desperately to get out. the mental strain was incredulous. and it really took its toll on our minds.
the days did get better however. slowly began to acclimatise and accept the fact. things that we cannot change, i shall say no more. but for now, I'll be content to take my x-ray on the 5th and then see what happens after that. we let God decide.
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tough times really do bring out the best sides of people. how they react and adapt to overcome bumps along the beaten path. admirable really to see how strong humanity can get.
was at church today. prayed for God to make me a better and stronger person, both mentally and physically. no longer would I be whiny, perpetually emo and drown in self-semi melancholy. its a side nobody wants to see. and I despise myself whenever i plunge down to that level. its stupid to wallow in self-pity and expect someone to come sympathize and give you a tug. pointless, because the world is cruel and men are selfish.
realized that my prayers mostly revolved around some main points.
-for God to make me better and stronger, both in mental and physical aspects
-to be able to overcome and suppress any ailment and illness that would afflict me
-for Her' to always be safe and sound over at where she is now
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i haven't exactly realized the power of prayer. might never will, or maybe someday i would. but talking to air does have a strangely pleasurable hypnotic effect on me.
helps to make me sleepy too.
2:12 PM