i am sick of being the COMPLETE friend sometimes. the friend who goes way out of his comfort zone to get things done for you. to get things in order. to make things happen.
sick of being the friend always making the sacrifices and then plastering a false smile onto my mug and say its okay. sick of hearing of promises made only to be ended up broken in the future. i've had this before years back. all of a sudden it feels so strangely familiar all over again. it really doesn't pay to be altruistic anymore i guess.
there would probably be a whole list of incidents when i've been made to look like a fool and i've grinned and bore it. dark times when i refused to compromise friendship and instead chose to suppress my principles. times where i thought i was being a stick in the mud and adhering to laws, rules and values that are long obsolete now. i tried to be flexible and adaptable.
sometimes i think i should just toss my personal values down the drain and adopt a cock loose and lawsuit free mentality where i have the right to play people out and break promises at will hoping that time would heal even the deepest wounds in minutes to come.
i believe a lot in the word PROMISE. i know how it feels to break one. the person on the receiving end of the broken promise gets hurt and that amount of hurt is hardly surpassed by any known form of living pain. i know how it feels like to put your faith/trust in someone only to have it tossed back like a head of lettuce in your face. i hardly break a promise these days.
because of recent events, I've been led to believe that friendship is heavily dependent on the 3 Rs. i shall term them as RELIABILITY, RESPONSIBILITY & RESPECT. i'm sure there's more to friendship out there, but writers block is preventing me for running my neuro-search engine.
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and i'm sure its a sign of things to come. one of my favorite fish is in critical condition and probably wont survive the night. its a jack dempsey. like anyone would know what i'm talking about. HAH. but its alright. God bless its soul. loyal companion for almost 4 years now. the sinking feeling sucks. you hold something beloved in your hands and watch as every tiny bit of energy seeps away from its body that would soon be devoid of Life .
a flurry of activities coming up this week:
Wednesday- IJC/MI Concert @ IJC.
Thursday- badminton with Isk. maybe.
Friday- dinner at Dad's place to discuss future studies
Saturday- Seminar @ Orchard Hotel regarding further studies/ MOS for JY's birthday
Sunday- Paya Lebar Airbase endurance challenge(biking)
Monday- dinner @ Aunt's place
8:36 PM