Le Cedistic

break

2008-08-23T17:30:00.002+08:00

you know that much awaited break I've anticipated from blogging. yeah, I've decided to implement it today. because I realized that I really don't lead this life where things(both good and bad) constantly happen to me. My life isn't that happening. A great many other reasons as well.

Maybe its because army has dumbed me down to this extent where I can no longer express myself the way I want to. So its better that I draw a close to something that I can no longer put 100% effort into accomplishing.

Or maybe its because I'm developing this alternate profile of myself where I'm beginning to value privacy more. Like how I've decided that my achievements to the world no longer matter, how important humility is and how small I am compared to what is happening around me.

Time plays a part as well. People may know me as someone who would put heart and soul into something I set out to do. Time constraints are holding me back, maybe its aging for both mind and body and how fast the world has moved on around me. I used to be sure, a definite No. which eventually evolved into something i don't know. i really don't know
Could I be falling?

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There might be a day where I would come back here. Then again, there might not.
But its been quite an amazing journey ain't it.
I look back and there's so much joy and sorrow alike.
Kinda brings a smile to my face.
Thank you for the memories.

dbl0

2008-08-15T11:22:00.002+08:00

yeah. so 14th of aug was sufi's birthday. 21 years ago to this day was the day our lovely tumbling monkey tot took his first breath and gazed upon this world of wonders, yet fast forward 21 years was the day that half a platoon of guys almost died from overindulgence. hahahahaha!

bunch of us decided to head down to Dbl 0 and one by one dropped like flies. well, except the bikers of cos who were all about pacing their intake. like Anuar, bugger. haha

graveyard was my poison of choice(without a doubt(:) and i can safely say that Dbl O's Graveyard was damn right Horrible with a capital H. the whole time i felt like i was drinking pure undiluted Brand's essence of chicken with nail polish solvent that left a weird aftertaste on my tongue. not like I've tasted nail polish solvent of course, but i think it would have tasted somewhat similar. hell, they even smell the same.

Dbl 0 was filled to the brim with the mats and the like. but that was rather expected. caught few glimpses of SA's people on the dance floor and near the bar counter. funny cos I would never expect them to appear at such places. maybe Zouk does get repetitive after a while I guess.

Attempt to Tequila bomb Justin to LalaLand wasn't that successful afterall cos our beloved sergeant already had a drop too much to land before that. never mind, always another day ah, bro. hahaha. i'll make sure its your birthday then

not to forget Roy and Hafiz's antics as well. collapsing and sleeping on virtually every visible flat surface. walls bar counters, couches and even on the floor. super funny. Ihsan with his robotic dance moves and my most awesome mat-rep 2IC holding true on his promise and tearing up the dance floor with his much-awaited mat-rep dance moves.

Medic was another one. got high on San Cesc's whiskey dry and kept on pestering me regarding why the DJ refuses to play metal. then proceeded to emo satu korner. hahaha
After the whole thing ended, Hassan began the drama with some random minah-rep. fu*king powerful stuff. all of us were in awe. woo

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and I lost my viewty. yeah, sad. some mofo busted my 4 digit lock and took it from my bag
therefore no pictures at all. why lah, God.

juan

2008-08-09T12:41:00.002+08:00

hectic week this bookout because no many things needed to be settled.

had to rush down to ICA building at like 8am in the morning to collect passport and thank God it was a relatively painless process. I was expecting long queues, angry crowds and disgruntled ICA officials. thankfully none of the above listed were present. I zipped in, tapped a few numbers, signed a few forms and was out in like 20 mins or less. I love how systematic and organized Singapore is sometimes. noticed how i said SOMETIMES? new passport looks awesome, my passport photo looked as if I just killed someone, burnt down his house and then beat the crap out of his mom.

down to vivo again of course and its now something like a second home to me. Causeway Point bored the living daylights out of me at like age 18 and Town was getting awfully repetitive as well. didn't like having to jostle for space alongside pesky schoolkids either. so it was Vivo then since it provided everything. caught Money No Enough 2 simply because it was a local production and i support local cinema. ( HAHAHA. *guffaws* what a lie, actually we watched it simply because there was nothing else in store and Journey to Centre of the Earth bombed at the reviews. or so i heard lah)

but the show was good lah. plenty of tearjerking moments towards the end and my dear girl was futilely trying to disguise the fact that she was tearing up by hiding behind the jacket.
hahaha, cuteness

settled my UOB stuff as well. submitted even more forms, converted my signature and declared a few irrelevant stuff as well. I hate it how bank officials give you a tough time over the counter. and of course the queues as well. and they tend to use those banking jargon on you like as if you were ever in the banking/finance industry. like WTH lah. smoke grenades were being thrown around and luckily for my part, RP firmly equipped me with a mindset(and mouth) specially formulated to counter verbal smoking. no one does it better than me. ask my RP friends.
hahahahaha.

supposed planned drinking session later that night didn't go well resulting in a very annoyed cedric & his army friends. I hate it how things get so indecisive and poorly planned and promises were made but not kept. maybe its because of the fact how army guys like everything to be constructively planned, discussed and carried out. guys who haven been in the army just wouldn't understand that. well, poor sods who have yet to enlist, you'll learn it the hard way. i guess insensitivity played a major part last night too. never mind, as i was telling shandy. Both good and bad times i guess.

I really should curb my temper, but the effort of making a wasted trip down not only for myself but for my friends as well thus giving the impression that I am inept at planning stuff makes my blood boil.

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2 more weeks of jurong island and its back to camp for us poor sods. this week's gonna be much much easier, so in fact I'm looking forward to booking in. a real bummer would be the fact that its national day and I'm gonna miss watching it on TV. as with every army guy, you tend to want to pay careful attention to the marching contingent's drills, marching and the commands given.

its a guy thing.

sentosa

2008-08-03T01:51:00.002+08:00

the good: we went to sentosa again
the bad: sentosa was really dry this time round.

seriously, there was nothing to look at even. 'cept for a few minah reps that made my mats all high and bothered. siloso was horrible and everyone on the beach volleyball courts were like. blehhhhhhhh. sgt' hong's pattern lah. hahaha

so much for us wanted to emulate beach.ball.babes sooooooo badly. didn't happen, but we did manage to take a whole shitload of pictures that took half the night to finish sending. i shall not post any of them here since pictures are a huge bandwidth drainer. but check them out on facebook.
i love facebook. I would give my life for facebook. hmmmm, slave.

so much for me putting in extra effort in working out just to look good for the day. i mean uh, its great that you have a trim and toned body already. but putting in extra effort at the gym and then having it not pay off. disappointed man. back to normal gym routine.

shouldn't have went for roy's birthday celebration(sorry dude!)
felt, and looked all bloated after a heavy night of drinking. bad choice, really.
i'm not gonna touch alcohol for quite a while now. back to abstinence.
i managed to go for like. 5 mths without a drink and it all went to waste.
nvm, at least i managed to give Roy the jerry-can treatment. great waste of otherwise perfectly drinkable water.

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i'm actually pondering taking a break from blogging since its getting so repetitive. maybe go for a period of time without typing anything and then update once in a while to tell people that i'm still around and that army is still killing my social life and causing intense mental trauma to me.

3 more weeks of jurong island. ENDURE!

hellboy

2008-07-28T10:12:00.002+08:00

I realized that at the rate I'm splashing money, my dad's so gonna writhe and seethe in some indescribable form of anger that I shudder to even think about.

actually I don't know why it got so crazy. everything started from the lost-wallet incident and till now, i still don't have a new wallet ***hint hint***

my 11B's still not here yet. stupid S1 branch back at camp screwed up my application and its entirely their fault. I submitted all the relevant documents and even made some wasted trip down to CMPB to pay when I could have paid online. what a great waste of time, i thought

been lazy to get down to SAFRA to re-apply for a new SAFRA card as well even though its like in Yishun only. maybe in subsequent weeks when I head down for a swim with Kimyew & Zhemin.
(eh, i know you guys are reading this, so when are we going man?!)

new passport is ready and I couldn't make in on the appointed date to collect(screw deployment), so new appointment date's on 8th of AUG(yeah yeah, eve of public holiday, a lot of people). I have a new biometric passport and the photo makes me look like a a hitman from the MAFIA.. much ado over nothing.

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not a very productive weekend, did manage to catch Hellboy2. was an okay movie because after watching Dark Knight, you realise that nothing would ever match up to that. that show just managed to secure top spot in my mind. but woah, I liked Prince Nuada's weapon of choice and the flair in which he wielded it. the actor didn't portray Nuada's villainous nature that all well though I think. but still a fricking cool character. especially his backflips. hahaha

celebrated Roy's birthday on the 26th as well. Our man got a half jerry can drinkup over at Jurong Island after duty. whole bunch of us restrained him and then proceeded to give him a Father's Day gift at some lamppost. it looked painful and if doing that to someone makes you crinch already, being the recipient of it must really suck. and to make it worse, We got hold of a full jerry can(thats 20 litres) and proceeded to empty it over poor Roy who was drenched and freezing on the bus back to camp. WAHAHAHAHA.

the night out at Boat Quay drinking was fun, but it hurt my body till no end. great thanks to Vig, Justin, Lt. Fadhil and PS Anuar for coming down. Roy was a happy boy. I still feel like a walking can of trash inside. I feel my six packs losing their shape already, ahhhhhh. must DETOX.

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another week of deployment at jurong island would commence. same old shite again, 6 week os deployment hell to go through, how much can one's mind and body take, i wonder.
hahaha

xbday

2008-07-21T23:32:00.002+08:00

I was at ICA building getting my new biometric passport done in the morning and you know how we all hate these formal queue-up and filling-up-forms processes. what a chore

but at least that bit's done for now. no more passport or identification issues. new 11B would be coming next week as well. I feel complete once again after the whole wallet issue.

now only the Citibank clear card's on my wish list. and I don't want no supplementary card from my sis, aunt or dad because that just wouldn't be me. I have backbone, i apply for my own cards and I spend within my own means. When poverty strikes, I take responsibility for my own actions. very regrettable sometimes.

I still need a new wallet though.

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am settling into deployment routine. mass gainer powder's working well and worth every bit the money. duty's still shit as ever, but we are complaining about everything and would continue to do so forever and always.

having irregular bookouts suck. everyone else isn't free and think of it, who's free to hang out, kick back and laze around on a monday afternoon/evening?!
SHEESH-

managed to catch The Dark Knight with the army boys. Marcus the pussy was spooked and our row of seats kept rocking whenever the Joker sprang a surprise move. dumb bitch, I almost flung my popcorn. good movie, every bit as good as it was hyped up to be. easily my movie of the year provided nothing comes out and kicks it off that pedestal. trash IRON MAN. haha

shandy tan the bestie would be due home soon. world's quiet when she stops talking and thats bad cos her nonsense lights up my life significantly. oops, sorry jolly.

xyn's birthday coming up on the 22nd as well. she hates surprises, just like she has always did. but at least now we are talking after like so long. so thank you.
no, i knew you've never forgiven me. and the time to making amendments would never dawn upon either of us. but i'm just... satisfied that you. and I. have new lives.

thank you, God

recovery

2008-07-16T00:25:00.002+08:00

back to jurong island for us. conditions there are horrible, as if they took a turn for the worse in the time that we weren't there.

most of us booked out afflicted with conditions like conjunctivitis, wheezing coughs, asthma attacks, foot-rot, hand-rot and other physical ailments. i booked out half-blind with a really bad eye. was spared the rot though, thank the heavens

the bunks are in bad shape. imagine ammonia, sweat, gunk, dust and dirt in a 20 man bunk. unholy amalgamation, really. and oh, did i mention that its air-conditioned? makes it hell lot worse.

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working towards replacing everything in my wallet. been around the whole island doing my cards and other admin stuff. i don't happen to have a lot of money to spend either. so its bit by bit

I still don't have a wallet. am currently using the old LV one that looks like its falling apart anytime soon. when i open it, i get a heart attack because something might fall out.

so friends all around, it would be nice to contribute to the GET-CEDRIC-A-NEW-WALLET-FUND.
please donate generously. all proceeds would go towards helping a pathetic lowlife who would shamelessly beg for alms online. hahaha
but hey, very much appreciated lah.

crestfallen

2008-07-06T13:01:00.003+08:00

yeah people, in case you all didn't already know, I lost my wallet on the train last week on my way to church. Ashley's church, to be specific.

laughed it off initially, but soon realized that it was a lot more troublesome(and painful) than it originally seemed. reality dawned upon me that I was in deep shit and no mother's son would be able to drag me outta this one.

horrible feeling lah. first time in my life that I've lost something(honest! ive always been a very careful person) and something so important too. i'm in financial ruin now(hahaha). money issues are surrounding me. I have a give-and-take relationship regarding money with the banks, people around me and everything else now(apply for new 11B, new biometric passport, health supplements, phone bills, safra) .

yeah. except that, its i GIVE and they TAKE.

particularly painful especially when the wallet itself carried a lot of sentimental value as well.
sigh. but i'll get over it i think.

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not in the best of conditions in a physical sense either. the MO demanded that I either go through a series of diagnoses that could potentially result in a downpes(ah, every NSF's dream) or make special insoles for my flat feet that are now excruciatingly painful after ICSB.

I chose the latter, much to the dismay of the guys from 18. hahaha. because from my point of view uh, its been like 1 year already. i have like 10 more months to go and the only physically taxing activity left to do is ROC in Taiwan. why not just get it done and over with(if possibly with the aid of special insoles) and ORD with a perfect physical record. apparently not everyone agreed. the 12km run in camp only made it worse. I finished the thing limping on my left side. like macham Terry Fox run, know.

at least the month didnt end off on a sour note lah. because people who matter to me are arriving home from distant shores. Jon's back from Thailand for a week before heading back for 6 mths, George's due back from India cos his' school term's starting again(haha, sucker!) and Gwen's back from Sweden. strangely enough, no hot swede guy in tow. nice to have people back for a change because for a while, everyone was flying off to somewhere and I'm still stuck here.

Shandy Tan, you are guilty of that. see, you matter to me cos I woke up at like 5am to wish you bon voyage. pity i wasn't at the airport to see Mel's drama mama antics.

Come back soon!

wallet

2008-06-29T14:15:00.003+08:00

sigh, its been a rotten week.
I really don't feel like talking about it
because i'm such a dumbass really. as a person, as a friend, as a son

hope that my fortunes make a turn for the better in time to time.
Why God...

csb

2008-06-21T23:12:00.002+08:00

We never thought the day would come
We never knew how it would begin
We never expected to even finish it.

BUT WE DID.

8km of fast marching, a 10km timed run, jungle navigation, ippt silver, 2 test stations, a river crossing and of course, the 32km route march itself.
We came out on top. all 15 of us of plt. 18. We earned that badge with blood & sweat
Thank the heavens

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My bid to save money hasn't exactly been successful. The bills just keep racking up with every passing week and I can only have myself to blame for overindulging. tis' a sin, truly.

proceeded to eat away a whole ton of $$$ , signed up for SAFRA membership and blew a whole load on a ZARA polo and yet more FOX board shorts which are really darn comfortable lah.
I've been heading to Vivo every weekend, its like the new Causeway Point to me now. Everything's there. Food, shopping, entertainment, eye candies, what else...
Should really ATTEMPT to watch my budget from now on.

my Viewty's back from the dead. collected it from the repair centre @ Vivo and surprise surprise, it got upgraded with new firmware. the touch response's so much lighter now, no longer feels clunky. a few other tweaks here and there. they even replaced a new screen protector for me after my previous one got scratched. thumbs up, LG.

come july 13th, it would have marked 1 year in the army for me. It's been quite a while uh. and that ever elusive 12th may 2009 seems so near, yet so far.

gss

2008-06-15T14:17:00.002+08:00

Levi's 522 Straight-Cut jeans = $149
Levi's boxers & socks = $55
Application for Levi's membership = $50
Grocery shopping for the weekend = $67
Transportation = $20
Father's Day dinner with Dad & Sis = $70
Coffee Bean chillouts = $20
Fox Jeans Company board shorts = $33
Fox Jeans Company casual tees = $46

It's official, I'm now broke

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CSB is this week, 32km in Tekong
Lord grant me the willpower to finish this grueling march and keep me safe.

twentyfour

2008-06-07T17:53:00.004+08:00

hell week in progress, field camp followed immediately by route marching. whoever planned our schedule deserves to get shot. really

like how much crappier can it get. you are filthy and covered in gunk, morale is at an all time low because of the rain, blistered all over. and at the end of the field camp you are supposed to march 24km through the night. I don't think I've been this hardcore for quite a while. at least not since BMT though, where it was all ARGHHHHH!!! CHARGE!!! and the whole DIE FOR YOUR COUNTRY + TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL(aka cheap 300 ripoff) fire in your heart garang-ness

well at least we got to see each other in camo- all over again. and that our rifles came to life again after such a long dormant period.

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short weekend for us and I fully intend to just laze around on my lazy posterior doing nothing productive;

no drinking/boozing the night away(cos I'm off the bottle, for now)
no going out/hanging at town/sipping java chip frap(cos going out with the same people to the same place doing the same thing does get awfully repetitive)
no shopping(where got time, where got money?!)

anyway, Euro 2008 is on, but we won't get the privilege of watching it. the group matches, that is. so dear nice friends who are outside and FREE, msg us the scores of the matches lah. win-win situation know, we win big, we treat you. my beloved Italia is so gonna cruise although I'm rooting for Croatia to make it past the quarters.

Recently I've also realized how much I've aged. and I don't mean the facial hair alone. True, I look like a caveman after 3 days of not shaving, but recently I've also noticed extra lines, wrinkles and other stuff I dunno how to describe on my face as well, that has to suck. How can I ever live it up. People tell me that I'm the kinda guy who can look 16 and also 23 at different times and days of the year simply by alternating my dressing. I sense a little truth in their words.

and of course, must must avoid buying S sized shirts from Emilio Valentino. I look like I stole the neighbour's 10 year old son's clothes right off the rack whenever I wore an S-sized EV shirt out.
Marcus preferred to label my one-man fashion disaster on that particular day as "CandyCane-like"
slut

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and I must have experienced some power pack moment on Wednesday man.
it was battalion games semi-finals lah. and it came down to the guys from Foxy coy(us!) against the Support coy guys. they all looked and played like bloody bruisers. so much for the fact that Frisbee was a no contact sport

all I could remember was the frisbee coming towards my direction, then this guy who was like my height, but had twice the muscle bulk challenged for it. both of us were going for it and according to eyewitnesses, the bloody disc flew past both of us, but our bruiser friend continue to jack his knee up to chest level(for whatever reason, I dunno lah).

then BOOM, we made contact and boy was it SOME impact. that mofo knocked the air out of and left me writhing in pain like some lower worm-like life form in the middle of the parade square. yeah, he fucking jumped and drove his knee straight into my solar plexus. I had my hands on my chest and tried to shout to relieve the what-must-be-the-most-excruciating-i've-experienced-since-enlistment sensation, but nothing would come out of my mouth. I couldn't feel my heartbeat at that moment, everything was spinning and somehow my eyes were nailed shut, but somehow i knew that OC and other medical personnel were around me telling me to regulate my breathing, relax, slowly open my eyes and speak to them.

there must have been quite a commotion and a lot of people stirring shit and adding to the chaos. stupid medic tried to lift me up to sitting position and it hurt so much I could have re-arranged his face if my eyes were open. then he dumped like this block of ice on my chest. must have been like 10 minutes or so before I could maneuver myself into a crawling position before standing up to walk around. with a bloody block of ice big enough to sink the Titanic pressed to my chest, no less.

eventually re-joined the game in injury time and it came down to Golden Goal with the game tied at 9-9.
We scored that all important golden goal
THATS ALL THAT MATTERS (:

wedding

2008-06-01T11:50:00.005+08:00

now I feel even older than before, especially after attending my cousin's wedding over the weekend. somehow as we get older and see all our cousins, siblings and relatives get married off, the reality begins to dawn upon you that it could very well be your turn soon.

and you begin to pay more attention to the little details on what happens during the ceremonies. begin to think about what would happen during YOUR own wedding. the preparations and all that stuff. the church reception, the service, the house visits, the formal dinner. and not to forget all that crying, of course.

everyone was looking all formal and regal and it all somehow felt like we were members of noble gentry. that's my paternal side for you. had the opportunity to catch up with many hi-bye relatives and many aunties who used to spank my ass(because i was so god-damn mischievous) back when i was younger no longer recognized, let alone attempted to spank me. all of them thought i was out working already and i swear the next question to come out of their mouths would be when I'm getting married.

if I didn't cut them off first by saying that I'm actually in the army.

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great week in camp as well. one full of laughter and joy.
would always remember this week for how;

-Everyone was freaking out over the dead/petrified/dried up lizard Hassan found during area cleaning.
-Hassan used the lizard as a pick for strumming his guitar
-BrianYeo bit the lizard between his teeth
-Julian attempted to swallow aforementioned dead reptile
-Hansen hyperventilated over lizard and almost screamed the roof down
-Roy was being his same old annoying self
-Fat Brian pitched the lizard to Hassan who swatted it like a baseball using the guitar.
-Marcus was caught in action in the toilet with a toilet roll in one hand and his pants to his knees
-Sufi lost his HELMET and insisted that someone in the platoon hid it somewhere
-Brandon, BrianYeo, FatBrian, Weijie & I pushed Roy to the limits with THE MOTHERSHIP drawing

(HAHAHA)

little stupid stuff like that would go down with us as memories in time to come.

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now the HELL MONTH moves fully into place and it does get the hardest at this point.
Gotta be strong, stay determined and remain ever-focused.
July would come and it would all be over soon.

vivo

2008-05-24T23:15:00.003+08:00

i realized that vivo city got bigger ever since the last time I was there. now obviously not true, but it just seemed bigger because there were like so many nooks and corners around waiting to be uncovered. would be like every kid's dream to play hide & seek there me thinks.

candy empire is an evil place, as I was telling good friend lappie. never ever bring a girl there, she'll go wild and you'll run dry. both will end up hyperventilating and dying horrible deaths. the stuff there are like way overpriced. I don't see how gummi bears that cost $2 more than normal supermarket prices would taste better. actually come to think of it, they really don't.

anyway, was there to get my blazer for a certain cousin's wedding and all of a sudden, i feel poor again. shopping, food and otherwise just splashing money unnecessarily. it doesn't help that NSFs are a poor bunch really.the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.

now the pair of Oakleys and the Sennheiser noise-cancelling earphones would have to wait. yet again. gee, I don't know my priorities and I think I need a financial planner. applicants welcome here. all you have to do is answer a few simple questions.

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HELL MONTH is well on its way and a whole flurry of activities falling into place. back to conventional for us soon for a short period of time and a whole lot of running. as if I don't already hate running. my knees and all joints hurt like hell loads. I hate myself for being flat footed sometimes.

I walk funny, run funny and move around funnily. Its so funny that when people laugh, I don't find it that all funny. and normally I would like to think that I like laughing at myself because I'm such a clown. I blame my flat foot condition entirely for losing out on a Gold for IPPT.
(how loser-ish)
hahaha

Added a chiller to the luxuries in our bunk and a hot water dispenser would be coming up real soon. Credits to Brian T for bringing in the chiller and I single-handedly carried in a whole 30 can carton of Coca Cola from nights-out. Now we all have ice-cold Coca Cola for the enjoyment after a hot day of training under the scorchingly torching mid-day June sun. next up we'll bring carpets, foot massagers, support pillows, LCD TV screens, sound systems, portable DVD players and comfy cushions. Life is great in bunk. ahhhh

I pray to God that the next stand-by-bed wouldn't be anytime soon(:

random add-on after watching LADDER 49 on tv:
one f*cking awesome movie lah, why didn't i watch it in theatre i wonder. but woah, it invoked Armageddons-like emotions in me.

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and my prayer for the week(as of any other week as well) would consist of the following:

God make me strong, both physically and mentally for the challenges to come.
God make me a better man in the eyes of all who love and care for me.
God forgive the sinner in me who has run rebel and foul quite so very often.
Have people respect and appreciate me for who I am and am not
Keep her safe, protected and happy while she's in the U.S studying and in whatever else she does.

bug

2008-05-17T22:42:00.003+08:00

hello marilyn, I realized that you still read my blog after like so long. Thank you man, does that make you random or what. I blog crap really, yours make a much better read.
and you need to chill lah girl, stop working so hard. go ask your sister for money. hahaha
much more mature, much more hotter now uh. seriously, I speak the truth

hello shahul, its been a while since we met up uh. back then you were still into the whole hip-hop artiste thing and then boom, now its the whole electronica thing. boy have you changed, you see what you black people are capable of!?

nice sitting down for a cup of coffee and hearing how your life has got on over these 'lost years'. all the shite we have both went thru. always great fun with a black man around.
I like your music btw. next time I'll see you bring down the roof at MSG with DaftPunk. Then I'll tell the world that I know Shahul Akbar. like woah

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deployment stint coming to an end and our HELL MONTH would begin soon. would possibly be the toughest month I would have to go through in army. this is where all the crucial activities would take place in.

route marches, river crossings, intensive PT, range, field camps, more conventional shite.
not that we haven been through bad times before, but once you think its over, something bigger comes along to constantly remind you that theres always a greater evil out there.

and that has got to suck.

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when the going gets tough, i think about the good times to come and sometimes, only sometimes it makes me feel better. Sometimes when we are cold, wet and dirty with muck all over and a night gale courses through chilling our bones, I think about the weirdest stuff.

like sometimes in the peace of night you just sit down, look at the stars, the moon, the night sky, the trees, the tranquil surroundings and even the little ant on the ground. you think about the finer things in life. how the world would be without Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride. yeah, the seven deadly sins. no worries about money, relationship and other heartbreaking matters.

I thought about how lonely I was. the feeling of having someone in your arms, the raw passion. how an embrace with a loved one felt like a moment of eternity, the exhilaration of loving and being loved back. all the visions and memories flashed in my mind. the different women who've impacted my life. the people whom I've hurt and the ones who have in turn hurt me. how I gave up one love for another and how wrong it turned out resulting in three broken hearts at the end of it. i'm being overwhelmed right now, its so. asphyxiating. so constricting.

I don't think someone like me would be fit to talk about Love when i don't even know what it is to begin with. I'm always, or always seemed' to be the one dispensing sagely advice, but hopeless when it comes to matters of my own heart. many times when its all one-way. I seem to be heading down the wrong direction.

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light hearted stuff. I've come across what could possibly be the best drawn ladybug ever on the world wide web.

its like so well drawn and with MSN somemore. please lah, dear friend lappie. You clearly belong in an alternate universe.
lets see uh;

how awesome is that. I offer 200 bucks for any person who can better that. hahaha

ntukills

2008-05-11T19:22:00.002+08:00

today I looked at my dog and went :"alright pooch, you & I both look like trash and that has got to change"

so i brought the fella down for a long evening jog around the estate leaving him breathless. its bad when family members pile on delicious food scraps on dogger's plate and spoiling him whenever you are away.

I think I'm equally guilty of that as well. the only difference being that we dump 'delicious SAF food rations/scraps on the floor to feed the birds. *snigger snigger*
if it was that delicious to begin with, wouldn't even be on the floor but in our stomachs ain't it.

----------

NTU officially rejected me this week too thus cementing my rampant claims that I officially am the lowest life form in existence. not even a proper donkey-ass-long rejection letter man!

I spent like 2 hours filling up the application and they rejected me like some slutface in just 5 paragraphs. Must have taken them a whole of 3 months to concoct something like that me thinks. credits to NTU, boohoo to me.

I guess this is when the crucial crunch talks with the Wee family would begin. over at Katong.
Finally its getting started and I've been waiting. expect to see incredibly powderful Queen's english being tossed around, cups and saucers thrown across the room and tempers flaring, babies crying. very exaggerating, but it could happen.

hmmm. Murdoch, Griffith, Melbourne, Western Australia or Curtin.
God tell me.

----------

Its been months since I've been off alcohol and hard partying. and it does feel good to be able to save up all that money spent incessantly while in a drunken stupor. money that can be well spent in other ways of course.

maybe I'll set up my own unofficial in-camp moneylending service.

I think i'm getting really boring as of late. and I don't have a life anymore. I go around talking to inanimate objects and bury myself in books. and they say that 21's supposed to be the wildest days of your soon-to-be-pathetic-adult life.

assdoubleyou

2008-05-05T12:58:00.003+08:00

you know you are old when kids who are really too young to be smoking & drinking walk up to you and beg you to help them buy fags. HAHAHA

kids nowadays, really.

----------

sembawang wharves is a major improvement compared to jurong island. the facilities, accommodation and even the people. more stuff to see as well.

we got to see the navies of the major powers on show, newly shipped cars of all makes and of course, the occasional SAM. otherwise abbreviated from Siao Ang Moh. refers to caucasians who head back to their ships drunk and rowdy from a wild night's out(possibly at orchard towers) and try to assault or snatch your rifles. if that fails, you'll be lucky to escape with just a verbal tirade from some 1.8m lumbering white piece of trash.

then of course we mustn't form stereotypes lah. there were some very well behaved ones as well. like those who attempted to make small, friendly talk with us. pity the fact that we either couldn't understand their thick accents or that we weren't actually permitted to talk to civilians while on duty. but we do make the occasional exception when it comes to cute blondes/brunettes though :p

some even thanked us for doing our jobs well and cheered us on. little things like those can really warm our hearts and draw smiles from our weary faces.

----------

and i think i must win the most accolades for being completely dumb. who in this world would sell his otherwise in-perfect-condition black psp for half price to his buddy simply because he wanted a bright red emo looking psp to match his side persona?

yeah, thats me. always figured that I had a screw loose somewhere up there.

and i just remembered this infamous quote by KK which was in turn quoted from his BMT sergeant. would definitely use it on my kids just to crack myself up in years to come

"you know why you all always kena f**ked?
BECAUSE YOU ALL ARE SUCKS!!!"

classic lah, really. the level of english totally blew me away. I couldn't stop using it for the whole week(which proves the fact that I'm really easy to please and that I'm an idiot)

Hansen and the rest of my team got completely annoyed.

icct

2008-04-27T12:36:00.002+08:00

a whole week of icct is bad for your body. now i need that dose of Creatine more than ever.
getting slammed, breaking falls and having your limbs twisting in all directions was fun initially, then it started getting annoying straining. my bottle of yoko-yoko is complaining because it got distributed amongst almost half of the platoon.

i ended up slightly concussed i think from all that impact taken on my back and neck.

----------

stayed back on saturday to clear my SOC in the morning too. my timing surprised even myself I must admit. never expected or knew that I could run like that. Kimyew asked how I did it and i replied " well uh, i ran till my balls hit the ground. then I dragged them along and just continued running " . the feeling felt like crap.

I was experiencing blurred vision. Remember running alongside Yasier after the last obstacle, past Melvin and I popped some random apple flavoured sweet and continued running. why I did that, I'll never know. but it sure helped when your throat's parched and dry.

Was trying to pace Zhemin on the last leg back to the end point, but freaking Mosquito man just kept going on and on like some Energizer bunny. INDEFATIGABLE is the word i think.

we must have cut quite a comical scene. Me frantically chasing after him, arms flailing and all. and him speeding up with all he's got because he heard my thundering footsteps behind. then in the end I caught up with him at the finishing line and we crossed it together. I sunk to my knees and closed my eyes.

8.32, I heaved a great sigh of relief.

----------

deployment coming up this week. Back to irregular bookouts, but I guess it sure beats staying in camp and doing intensive PT.(:

heelcut

2008-04-20T18:10:00.008+08:00

and so its the same every week. NSF books out and complains/whines/goes on and on about how tough life inside is. lets have something different this time.

hmmmm, week was shorter than usual due to the long weekend we had last week. but that meant we had 5 days worth of activities cramped into 4. and woah, took a serious mental and physical toll on us. like how you can squeeze 3 route marches and a 10km run all into one week without having any consideration as how whether your legs might break from all that strain.

cleared my 10km CSB run, so thats done and over with. quite proud of that achievement and my timing really. now if there's one thing i'm proud of but really harbor a deep sense of disdain for, it has got to be running. I think running has to be like the most unproductive sport(do we even consider it a sport) or activity ever. you just run & run & run. and do nothing else. besides, its bad for flat-footed people like myself.

I think ill lose the ability to walk properly at like age 50. with all the running i'm doing now.

----------

new logo for cedistification.blogspot. kudos to George, mr. $500 a day designer.
i requested for nothing too abstract or artsy fartsy. and this current logo does deliver. so yeah, great. to replace the crusty boring old black & white lacy logo.

managed to save money again this week. staved off temptation to get the oaklays, converse sneakers and even the audio technica headphones. one side of my mind was telling me to make full use of the GST offset payments while the other side of my head was radiating thoughts of saving up for australia. why do I ever have these kinda mental debates raging on inside.

dinner with marilyn on saturday night and church with george on sunday. followed by hangout at town with cuiwen. didn't manage to catch forbidden kingdom, as we had originally planned to.
hongkong cafe's stuff really isnt' anything remarkable or woah woah woah, don't fall for their marketing puffs.

----------

if there's one thing I fail to understand the previous week, its how my mates are so obsessed with the Rubix Cube. its like how everyone managed to get their hands on one and just mess around. later I realized that its mathematically related when it comes to solving it. algorithm or something. I suck at mathematics.

suckers can like go at it for hours and hours on end looking like total dorks fondling their cubes. they are at it after breakfast, after lunch and then after dinner. sighhh

how fun does something like that get, really.
Why, God?

schmexy

2008-04-14T00:11:00.002+08:00

hard week for the poor nsfs.
route marches, river crossings, standard obstacle courses. and what have you.
bad week, tough week, blisters & rope burns

----------

this week i pay tribute to the awesome friends i have around. most of the time we don't appreciate until something good does happen. i'm always thinking that i'm so alone, me against the world.

but without my friends, i am nothing. and the world would seem like a much bigger place too.
i hate change, i hate losing my friends. maybe i'm just not receptive towards new things, new events and ties forming and severing. ah, what a load of irrelevant bullshite. bullshit is when you cross breed a bulldog & a shit tzu.

this week, the likes of george, marilyn, lynette, gwendolyn, pearlyn, lappie, chenhuat, azri, kc, trevor, genevieve, jayina, shandy, yongyeow and hakim made me feel really appreciative of the company I have around. thank you people. big shoutout, hugs & kisses ah.
hahaha, so gh3y.

i also felt like compiling a list of skills that NSFs are well versed in:

----------

THE NSF:

- The effective NSF can fall sleep anywhere, anytime & at will. Don't question why, we don't know either.

- NSFs crave bookouts and nights-out like no nothing ever. You probably already know that.

- We usually wear the same set of uniform for the whole week. Unless it’s really dirty, like covered in mud or stinks real bad. To us, air-drying is the new washing. Same goes for the socks/singlets/t-shirts.

- Deodorant or Febreeze are essentials. Now if you don’t see your guy at least getting deodorant, you know what to do. Dump him or get him one; he’ll greatly appreciate at the latter, while you might at the former.

- We rarely procrastinate in the camp. In fact we always try to do whatever we can first, and then rest later.

- Downpes & ChaoKengs. Essentials of the soldiering mind.

- IPPT & SOC are headaches. Big time. Just like mother-in-laws and whiny girlfriends.

- The NSF experiences serious time-lag. We don't have a social life. To us, 5 mins outside is too little time to do almost anything. Inside camp, 5 mins we can do a hell lot of stuffs. You won’t believe what we can achieve.

- We think about you all the time. Yes, girlfriends, friends’ girlfriends, your girl-friends, your girl-friends’ friends. All of them.

- We are almost always unfriendly towards one another but we don’t quarrel. We just love making digs at each other without feeling offended. Once we pass the gates of the camp, some will slowly turn back to their sensitive selves (the guy that you love), while others have a harder time (the guy you hardly understand now).

- We reply every HAR with HAR HAR, HAR LAN PA and YAH with YAH YAH, PAPAYA. It was drilled into us.

- Guard Duty on a weekend is HELL. Don't complain, girlfriends. We are hardly having fun in there either

- A Sir is a Sir, A Sergeant is a Sergeant. A Sir is not a Sergeant, A Sergeant is not a Sir. Get it wrong in BMT and get a boot up your ass.

- Stupid army songs that make no sense and go on and on about food, girlfriends, warfare, chaokeng, patriotism and other random army shite. No, we don't get what we are singing half the time either.

- We aren’t really that garang either. We are well aware that since there’s no way we can not do it, we just do it with vigor so it can help us get it over and done with.

- It is acting class in the army. Golden Horse Awards come into place when you can see so many talented actors around. You’ll be amazed how they chao keng, cover their asses and cheat their ways out of sticky situations.

- Extras, SOL & DB. Stuff that would scare the crap out of every NSF.

- Army food is crap. Don't even get started or believe what they tell you about how 'army food is so much better compared to last time"

- We are tidy & untidy at the same time. "STAND BY UNIVERSE" is a phrase feared by everyone. We know what is required of us when it comes down to area cleaning.

- ORD LOH. so near, yet so far for all of us long suffering guys.

guard

2008-04-06T12:28:00.002+08:00

guard duty over the weekend can totally kill you in, out, left, right & center.
24 hours long and I barely even managed to get 3 hours of sleep. deprivation of human rights man.

I don't even remember previous guard duty shifts getting this bad.
It got to the extent where I started hallucinating and imagining things while prowling in the wee hours of the morning. hahaha yeah, that bad

evidence that tired & disillusioned NSFs can dream up even the wildest shite' that would possibly never ever happen. my partner & I got the standard chills down our backs whenever we ventured into the more ulu areas. always a silent prayer then for whatever beings of the night amongst us, I believe.

and then my magazine from my rifle decided to pop out on its own, fall off and hit the ground with a loud thud. minutes later, the same thing happened to my buddy. at times we got that feeling where we knew we were being watched/observed. by what, God knows(:
but nah, nothing major happened. I'm still alive and kicking. just need a lot of sleep.

deployment ended, would rest for a month before deploying to SembawangWharf.
new place, new experience, new stuff to pick up i guess.
major activities in army coming up, very physical, even more taxing on the mind.
what doesn't kill you does eventually make you strong, I HOPE.

----------

byemarch

2008-03-31T00:48:00.003+08:00

March is coming to an end huh. its been 10 months or so.
so fast so fast, yet never fast enough for an ever-suffering tormented soul.

nice ring to it-

----------

heart pain last night after hitting home to see my beloved Viewty phone with an ugly scratch etched across the top of the screen. gut-wrenching i tell you. well, someone must have borrowed it and..... sigh, never mind.

luckily theres a layer of screen protector on. would get it replaced i guess.
same goes for the psp. would probably pass it on to the sister and get a new emo red one.

so many things on the to-buy list as well. stuff like:

Oakley XX Twenty shades - $320
Audio Technica earphones - $110
Abercrombie & Fitch polos - $70 a pop
New decal for iPod - $15
Whole shite'load of other random stuff that I probably wouldn't even need - $$$$$

----------

Kingdom of Heaven is on TV now and even though its like my 4th time watching it, still a good show nevertheless. especially for history buffs like yours truly.

show isn't really historically accurate though, destroyed by Hollywood just like any other historical epic. but I''l take it for what it is. hated what they did to the Knights Hospitallers. why did Ridley Scott sell out?!
overall good depiction by the artistes in their various roles though

Edward Norton as Baldwin IV, especially. the leper king behind a mask. when I first watched the show I couldn't even tell it was him till the credits rolled. what a phenomenal, chilling performance. the man's damn talented I must admit. give him a donut for effort! and I remember falling in love with Eva Green after watching the movie for the very first time.

been a long time since I last watched TV. little things in Life that make a man smile, really.

northen

2008-03-24T21:17:00.003+08:00

the past 5 days were difficult. almost as if they were the longest five days of my life. to say the least. standing at a static position for 12 hours with load everyday can kill. both physically and mentally challenging. time slowed to a crawl and the effect it had on my mind was excruciating. i'm just glad I got through it all. why do i get all the shite' shifts when everyone else doesn't uhh. if it doesn't kill you, it really does make you stronger. truly.

I've never been one to procrastinate. so its always me with this WORK HARD, PLAY LATER mentality. didn't exactly work out as well as I would have wanted it to. Dove in enthusiastically armed with the knowledge that it would be tough and emerged 5 days later with a complete redefinition of the word TOUGH. never wanna go thru it again i hope.

what an experience.

----------

I guess time really does fly when we are preoccupied with something and in the blink of an eye its already been almost 10 months since I made the transition from civilian to soldier. kinda surreal.

I remember the day when Qian sent me off. the breakfast at KAP's Mac. It did mean a lot to me back then. Both the day and the girl, haha. the 14 pieces of napkins for each single day of my confinement. mood was pretty sombre, serious and the air was thick with anticipation. I didn't know what else to say to her. But big bold words in red like WORRY, FEAR & HOPE flashed across my mind. Walked out to the main road for a cab down to Pasir Ris where I was due to report for enlistment and meet up with the father. ran into YY & Kevin while on the way there. didn't talk much, wasn't in the mood to communicate. boarded the cab, somehow i managed to blurt out that all important three words before the door closed. but it really didn't matter anymore at that moment, does it. you turned around and headed for the direction of the clinic. it was all over.

events from that day still replays itself in my mind from time to time.
and I tell myself how silly I was back then. hahaha, yeah

now I recollect and laugh about it. you probably won't be reading this I know, but years from now I would read my own archives from time to time and go like "hey, events from the day I enlisted into the army!"
and it would all come flowing back.

maybe then, i'll smile.
and let that smile be _____

stepup2

2008-03-18T14:46:00.004+08:00

i must be the most random NSF around.
I book out from a whole week of deployment, get home, bathe, get the computer on and read about totally irrelevant stuff like.....

giant clams....
http://believe-or-not.blogspot.com/2008/03/world-largest-clam.html
best band logos in music history...
muay thai...
the atkins diet
the story of famous amos cookies...
101 ways to kill yourself (overdosing on panadol amongst them, oops)

awesome uh.

----------

headed out in the evening to watch Step Up 2.

one great show really. especially if you are into that sorta thing. i know i am(:
enjoyed it throughly. found myself tapping along to the beat throughout the whole movie.

other movies usually bore me for a while. then revive my interest again when the crucial bits come into play. step up 2 kept my ass & eyes glued to the screen till the very last dance sequence.

and it was mind blowing lah really. the rain just made it so much more WOAH. really original moves right there, okay okay, i know i'm gushing like some teenybopper, but seriously, worth the money man.
movie put me in a dancing mood for the whole journey home. like as if I'll ever start popping and locking all of a sudden on the subway. haha, hey its possible.
I DO GET UNPREDICTABLE.

lck

2008-03-09T16:31:00.003+08:00

i'm back from the jungles with a lot of war trophies to show.
YEAH. APPARENTLY THATS ALL WE ARE ALLOWED TO DISCLOSE
'lest they decide to get medieval on my ass. so erh, lets keep on the safe side and leave it as such.

but important thing is that I'm alright la people, didn't come close to dying and the mozzies didn't exactly get me as bad as I thought. at last count I had 64 mosquito bites. f*cking survivor okay.
I look like I'm suffering from venereal disease or some other STD. but they'll go away after a while i guess. no issues.

-----------

hit Paulaner's with the gang last night because dear friend Jon was flying off and would be gone for close to a year. poor guy, think about how much weight he would lose. might wanna consider a sex change while you are at it dude. you'll make a pretty girl. everyone agrees.
ahhhh. we'll all miss you man. all the times we had together, bla bla bla bla bla.

some things still haven't changed. the place's still fun as heck, our favorite band's still covering, we still go around annoying everyone, most of the old staff are still around(great guys, really) and I still don't drink beer. we leave that bit to Germany boy. makes you fat, evident.

i guess army does make you sit down and appreciate the finer things and details in life. some things that we all used to take for granted back then. the most basic of stuff like... food, shelter, clean water and a soft clean bed to sleep on. other luxuries doesn't even matter much anymore.

I come back and the first thing i do is give my dog a huge bearhug that almost knocked the wind out of his little lungs. boy were we happy to see each other. HAHA. felt really refreshing to walk him whilst the sun sets and generally take in the moment. no rabid rabies-infected jack russells and frantic high-pitched screaming woman owner encountered this time though, thank the heavens.

----------

the dog went nuts this morning because apparently some cat was lodged/hiding/stuck/wedged under my outdoor pond. (actually come to think of it, maybe it was just too stupid to get out). dogger was barking mad and i swear the words BRAISED KITTY IN SWEET & SOUR SAUCE flashed across in his mind. so I had to virtually shift all the greenery and displays out of position to get that stupid bitch of a pussy out from underneath the pond filtration system.

water sprays didn't work, fried fish fillet as bait didn't work(strange, i thought everyone/everything loved the fillets i fried personally), the broom didn't work(oops sorry, animal cruelty). It got so desperate i contemplated filling a bucket of water and flushing the stupid animal out, eventually decided against it cos I figured that not everything loves an early morning shower quite unlike myself.

eventually got it out after virtually dismantling my whole system and reaching in to carry it out gently. kindness doesn't pay in the feline world apparently. that pussy must have been high on weed(whatever it was smoking, ill take two pots. thank you) and it scratched my wrists and arms till they bled. I ended up looking like some suicidal Emo Elmo doing the whole wrist-slitting and penning emo poetry in bathtub whilst bleeding to death thing.

my sis then came to the gate and asked if I was okay.
I replied that it was a most delightful feeling to be bleeding profusely and she should probably give it a try sometime soon.
awesome sister, really. HAHAHA

----------

seriously, all I had missing from the completely set was the mascara, eyeliner and powder

dayaftersentosa

2008-02-26T16:07:00.005+08:00

8 beautiful days well spent. and now I head back to camp along with the men & women in green.
we still parade around in green doing nothing productive.

----------

cohesion day at Sentosa. drove down with Brandon and B-tian. BRIAN TIAN needs like 5 alarm clocks to wake up, i swear. and i must have called like 17 times at 6am in the morning. lotsa cock happenings on the way down, Weijie & B-yeo got lost in the other car. winded up at Mohammed Sultan. awesome.

company cohesion itself was bad. whoever thought about it deserves a boot up the ass
. the games, i meant. most of us skipped the games anyway and proceeded to RnR. there really isn't much to see and do on a monday morning. that was what we thought, initially.

Luge was like fun. Brandon, both Brians & myself went on it and woah, that thing really goes fast. almost flipped when rounding the corners. i still won't fucking forgive B-yeo for driving me off the track, jackass clown. should have went again, but bloody thing was expensive and besides, would have looked stupid to go alone.

afternoon out on the beach was fun... because of what the guys from plt16 did. poor girls, must have been quite an intimidating experience. 3 of us were at the back, under the shade and laughing our asses off. good entertainment right there. well, because of that we 3 got to know Starfish.
HELLO THERE, if you happen to be reading this.

and some madcap china(well, does look the bit) girl was doing AIT and furiously digging a pit at the beach line. it started out looking like some sandcastle moat, then became a bigger pit and all the way till it resembled a damn shellscrape(which is what we army guys have to dig to hide and sleep in). and she wasn't done yet! wonderwoman decided to up the skill challenge one scale by expanding it till it became a fire trench. we left around 1, but if we did stay to observe, we might have found her standing in the middle of a command post(extra large hole).
truly, all sorts exist.

hols

2008-02-22T19:49:00.002+08:00

LEAVE, REST, BREAK, OFF, HOLIDAYS.
however you term it, im enjoying it.

woooo, longest period of rest away from the army so far. so yeah, our deployment ended and we get 8 days of rest to spend with family, friends and loved ones. a period that I've made full use of. maximum efficiency

----------
18-02-08
Soccer with the guys at NP. was a soccer session to forget really. didn't enjoy myself, bad experience. at least there were eye candies aplenty over at NP. good stuff, why didn't i choose to go there after O levels man. NP hasn't changed much, was there for quite a few times in the past. 2 weeks attachment there and also for polyforum 2005. all the memories come streaming back.
couldn't get on the bus home after that, chocked full of ngeeann-ians. took cab and the guy thought I was from NP.

19-02-08
didn't do anything productive man. full day of rest, contemplated going out, eventually succumbed to the lazy bug. stayed at home.

20-02-08
met up with Eliz after a long while. missed the movie because someone was fashionably late. but its alright, nice to get re-acquainted. talk, talk, drink, drink, walk, walk. how we all have changed since back then. someone's now so much hotter la. and i'm going down the drain in that department. how depressing, really.
town with shandy & marilyn before they hit the club later in the evening. still as crazy as ever. shandy needs to stop growing taller. disappointed to not see melissa, don't feel at ease when i don't suan her in person.

21-02-08
went down to Dad's place for dinner with paternal family. aunts, cousins and dad all gathered to sit down and just..... talk. dinner was good, haven't had satay and good food in general in such a long while. i'm in the army, the aunts and uncles are aging, the father's still annoying(in a humorous sense of course) and my cousin's getting married. like wow. hahaha

22-02-08
had starbucks with Keryn and tried to fix her 'lost cause' computer. didn't manage to do much, but woah, someone changed a lot uh. look what RP has done to you, told you not to come already right. hahaha, should hang out more often next time.

----------

more to come, more to come. make productive use of time
EVERY MOMENT SPENT OUT OF CAMP IS A MOMENT I TREASURE, FOREVER AND EVERRRRRRRRRRR.

LGviewty

2008-02-12T21:40:00.000+08:00

alright, so i went out and got the LG Viewty phone for $448 already. and its looking like a good buy.
there's so much you can do with it. except that i probably wont get to play around with it much.
new line as well, ill let you guys know about my new number once everything's settled and done.

well, theres always bookouts, off days and leave to play with it though. besides, i need a camera anyway after a certain absent-minded sister 'conveniently' left my old camera at... argh NVM..
makes me fume only. DARN

----------

approaching our last week of deployment now. everyone's glad really.
slog and slog and we would get our much-deserved week long break. lets hope that nothing screws up at the last minute.

i realized that I need vitamin C tablets and supplements cos my normal intake is far too low. and vitamin C deficiency causes all sorts of ailments to afflict you. really should watch my health as I age.

and yeah, I seriously dislike seeing cliques forming within cliques. I hate taking sides.
I hate being the people-pleaser I currently am. see its like, person A would wanna ask you out for a drink and chillout at town, but yet he's afraid that by calling you, person C would get to know about it through you and tag along. and person C is someone whom many people find difficult to get along with, but he doesn't realize it himself.

now problem here is, I'm perfectly fine if I understand the whole scenario. I'm prepared not to go simply because I don't wanna cause hassles and difficult scenarios to occur.

but it isn't acceptable when people talk about stuff behind my back and yet think that I am completely oblivious about what is going on. sometimes its asphyxiating when you know something that people don't want you to know about, but you can't or rather, don't wanna call their bluff simply because this fragile thing called FRIENDSHIP matters to you.

its laughable how even at this level of mental maturity, such things are still existing and running rampant. almost like schoolgirls.

----------

Anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you
Anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you

words of wisdom. and nope, they ain't from me. i just find writings like that...
BEAUTIFUL.

cny2008

2008-02-06T21:33:00.000+08:00

chinese new year around the corner again, but there is to be no joy for me this year.
CNY THIS YEAR WOULD BE BURNT.

i'll be celebrating with the guys at jurong island.

----------

tiring week, not much has happened. but i did enjoy the time out with friends and family alike.
lunch and hangout with George & Liz was great. the food, the company, the place. was nice to sit down, eat and just... talk.
at least i know i still have a social life.

Haji Lane still never fails to amaze me with its old world charm. its so laid back. doesn't feel like Singapore anymore. amidst all the hustle & bustle.

lunch at Alaturka, turkish restaurant. meat, meat and more meat. woah, after crap food in the army, good food was greatly appreciated. gorged myself literally.

----------

meeting up with Marlon later tonight for a drink and get-together. good matey of mine leaving the country for a while. be safe man, a prayer for you always. we sure have come a long way. back from times when we were still lil' tots in blue shorts. it was at the fitness corner beside the field lah. the low wall where we had our first conversation. along with CH and Farhan.

the arguments we had, the cold war in sec 1. the wild moments at the jetty spent fishing and crabbing. slacking after school, and creating trouble generally for pretty much everyone. how we were all nerdy and geeky. not doing homework, the shouting matches, the house visits we had with the other geeks and tards. and how we were all so crazy about fishes back then. fighting bettas & arowanas.

we both sucked at maths back then. you got better, i got worse. 0/100 for me was even though i went for the paper. some other joker in class skipped the exam and got 0/100 as well. Mr. Teo loved me back then for that. then you were more mandarin inclined and i was english inclined. i got blamed for making you suck at mandarin in sec 2. i was having none of it. but great, we did get past the mandarin barrier at the big Os. woo, achievement man.

how we competed to see who would end up getting attached first(remember, i edged you by 2 months, HAHAHA).

then we both went to different polytechnics and didn't exactly remain as close as we were back in sec 1 & 2, but really i appreciate how we both have taken efforts to remain in contact lah. never thought we'll come so far. and have so much happen in between us.

all the memories just come flooding back. and it drew a smile on my face lah. ill miss it all, ill remember and treasure everything when i do leave for my studies after army.

ONE GREAT FRIEND LA.

peace

2008-02-01T10:46:00.000+08:00

I haven't been to church for ages and i feel my faith waning with every passing day.
yeah, cos my current schedule simply doesn't allow me to. but oh well, I'll live with that

this is the week where i feel rich, but rather unaccomplished and strangely empty. because nothing much was done and erh... well, accomplished.

the government decided that we poor NSFs deserved a one-time pay-off (possibly to shut us up) and boom, we've got a hundred bucks(yah yah, so many things we can buy with that), but really, who complains about extra money in the pocket.

driving isnt getting much better after I missed my FTT two weeks back because of some stupid event. now I've gotta wait till April and even that has to depend on schedule. when am I ever gonna get my license. Dear God, tell me.

----------

shopping with Julian & Jason at town was like... shopping with a bunch of guys. haha, and we all know how guys shop. walk around, pick up a few stuff, walk out. no browsing, not much of trying ons and whatsoever. but at least the company was good lah. talked about how all of us have become withdrawn and feeling so distant from society, feeling like a worm. felt really great to be able to come out, chill out and generally just enjoy life(and aging). HAHA. the dinner at Fish & Co. was god-like though. seafood platter for 1, nothing beats that

I'm finally getting the LG Viewty phone next week. thats a cool $800 off my account. but at least its something that would stick around for quite a while. good phone, good value.

and I would have no social life after that. always staying at home to eat cup noodles and bread.

----------

booking back in later. so I'll take the opportunity to wish people like Rebecca, Melissa and George a very happy birthday out in the civilian world. you guys have a great one yeah.

ALL ARE MISSED.

poi

2008-01-26T11:25:00.000+08:00

THERE IS NOTHING SEXIER THAN A POI TROOPER ON DUTY IN FULL GEAR.
THERE IS NOTHING SEXIER THAN A POI TROOPER ON DUTY IN FULL GEAR.
THERE IS NOTHING SEXIER THAN A POI TROOPER ON DUTY IN FULL GEAR.

-repeat the mantra 3 times. i do that every single time i'm on duty to remind myself that the work i'm doing is all worth it. HAHAHA. okay, not really. but it IS a form of motivation man i tell you

----------

jurong island is okay I think. nice place to eat, sleep and shit. good food. but the living conditions drive you sick really easily. all the germs, chemicals and impurities in the air that you end up inhaling. i'm bringing a whole first-aid kit and maybe my own personal doctor over there later. PREPARED for any ailment that besets me.

Life is good at the moment. I think. no pressing complaints to voice out or bitch to the One above. been giving my thanks and saying my prayers and generally appreciating what He has done for me. I am thankful.

would probably have to get a new pair of Oakleys done next week. the old pair is wearing out fast and it looks it might come apart even if a termite crawls on it.
I don't know why i used an analogy like that lah, but you get the idea. really. (you do, right)
and whats more, the old(current) pair made me look like i'm 18 and struggling with some sort of identity crisis. almost like how I couldn't decide whether the punk or geek look was for me at 18years old and decided to amalgamate the two together for something totally wacky.

fast forward 3 years, wacky is now the new STUPID. and i look every bit that way.

----------

I'm actually looking forward to booking in and seeing the guys again. this is so wrong, it hurts.
HAHAHA

jurongisland

2008-01-20T15:48:00.000+08:00

new chapter of life, i feel. a whole month away from camp it would seem. ill take every day as it comes

but gee, staying awake is gonna be a real challenge.

----------

week of major spending. cab fares are a real killer man. trip from woodlands to ECP set me back by $28. darn the 35% surcharge, really. and when I reached the pit, no one else was even there yet. talk about punctuality. did head off for dinner @ MAC with Kian & Julian first because we figured that the food isn't gonna be enough for 3 platoons worth of men & commanders.

a real breather from the hustle & bustle of army in-camp training. at least the atmosphere was light and rather relaxed. i said RATHER. haha.
but still, company level BBQ is too big scale i think. 18 should do another BBQ on our own. that would have been a lot more fun. Didn't have a camera to take any pics, disappointed.

i hate it when I keep on telling myself not to drink and I never fail to break that promise. so the whole NO DRINKING policy became a JUST A LITTLE DRINKING WOULDN'T EXACTLY HURT one and eventually imploded into a DRINK & DRINK ALL OUT TO LIFE madcap situation. almost all of us ended up drowning in poison. nothing like ice cold beer on a balmy Friday evening. Baron's was good. still not the biggest fan of beer around though.

trip on 966 bus home with Weijie was rather... eventful as well. air-con was shitass cold and my nose flowed like the River Nile. At that moment i really needed one of Hansen's Vick's nose pluggers. my complaint is that air-con is never cold when you want it to be and much too cold when you ARE already cold enough. and both of us were in singlet and berms. apparently the Ah-Beng was more tolerant towards cold.

then i fell asleep and was roused in a most unforgiving way when the bus jerked: by having my nose crushed against the handgrip of the seat in front. thankfully it didn't bleed, but Weijie was laughing his guts out at my misfortune. ass, with friends like those..... (fill in the rest yourself)

HAHAHA

----------

church on sunday. had to stand throughout the whole service. as if my legs aint already hurting from standing for the whole week in camp. parade rehearsals, drills and tekan sessions. man, being flat footed is such a sin.

headed down to Haji lane after that. rather disappointing cos most of the shops I went specifically to see were closed for the day. lazy people in there couldn't be bothered to do business on lazy sunday afternoons it seemed. no worries, I'll be back eventually, on a weekday. beautiful place, old school charm. feels like Singapore out of Singapore, flashback to colonial times.

doggerwalk

2008-01-13T11:57:00.000+08:00

alright. so we have turned operational already. amidst much fanfare and a big hoo-ha. the day we've all been working and training towards for. and yeah, SLEEP was the only thing on all our minds during the parade and ceremony. imagine almost 3 days without proper rest. does take a huge mental and physical toll.

i think one of my mates in there just lost over 6kg in a matter of 3 days. that puts the S right into Substantial.

now the real test begins. we shall see

----------

and pay has come in, so i went splashing happy after booking out. spent like 1hr 30 mins in john little(according to qian, JL is an 'auntie' store) and blew a hundred bucks on stuff . lets all take it as shopping for CNY. feels good to spend money sometimes, retail therapy is the proper term.

bought polo tees aplenty, a white sweater that i would possibly not wear more than twice(i think) and a regular tee because no one really wants to see me wear that SURF LIKE HELL Ripcurl tee any longer. its excruciating to watch. (hell, i love that shirt okay, you asscracks)
come to think of it, i've spied that shirt in like 6 or 7 of my friendster uploaded pictures. that says a lot i think.

now I'm left with the VIEWTY phone and there would be no more outstanding purchases on my list. maybe save for a new computer, but thats still pending, so no worries. upgrade plan, get VIEWTY phone for knock-down price. feel and look professional while using it.

plan to save money is going well too. finances back to normal now, so i'm pretty happy. driving lessons have resumed. i'm a little rusty, need more training.

----------

on a more leisurely note, i was walking the dog around 7pm yesterday and that was rather refreshing. to get out of camp and do small little stuff that dont mean a lot normally, but holds significance especially if you are in the army where you are deprived of family and friends(and pet).

then there was this girl around my age walking her pooch as well. so yeah, naturally i tried to inch closer to have a look la(the girl, not the pooch). and as my dear Rockie inched closer in eager anticipation, the girl's little runt of a jack-russell bitch mix charged towards our dear boy and reared up. it wasn't leashed, how awesome.

now my boy doesn't take rudeness all too well i know(he's an ah beng dog) and responded. i had to restrain him and he was twice as unhappy about that(being the trouble making/quarrelsome bastard he is). could have crushed the little maggot if he wished, but Rock at that time was probably rather amused at why he was being challenged for superiority as well. i felt like laughing.

what annoyed me was when she shot me this sick smirk and made it seem like i was at fault.
WHY?!
because your dog charged over and tried to attack mine, i restrained mine till he almost hyperventilated, choked and puked all over your bitch mix simply to prevent him from tearing your little bag of fur up if he so wished to. then mine calmed and sat down, but your little white pillow trash continued to encircle him while snarling. that was when you made your way over at the speed of light(of which my grandma would be really proud of), tried to grab it, tried to leash it, but to no avail.

and you screamed like a banshee at me as though Moses decided that you were too ugly to pass through the sea he had parted and closed the Mediterranean all around your pug ass. i simply had to give her a piece of my mind and in my sexy NSF accent i bellowed :"excuse me, but do you mind grabbing your dog, please? "

that was while she was still frantically shrieking, yelling, stamping her foot, performing the Tarantella, tearing her hair out,breaking her nails in a sissy fit, taking her top off(okay, maybe not) while still screaming hysterically and her little trashbag of fur was still circling mine after like 3 whole minutes. she didn't dare to do a thing.

i didn't feel that all comfortable watching a free show really, so eventually i picked up Rockie and air-lifted him away while that little trashbag of fur was still snapping at my heels. and she was still shouting!

this time it was "Rini, come here, i said come here, RINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! "

----------

no lady, raising the shrillness of your call wouldn't exactly work. trust me i tried.
but that was funny.
and no, she wasn't anywhere near HOT. would have been different if she was :P

sleep

2008-01-06T15:55:00.000+08:00

i'm sleep deprived. crashed almost immediately after i finished all the necessary chores upon booking out yesterday. training for turning operational seriously isn't fun. at all.

i'm not supposed to go into details. haha

SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP.

----------

managed to stay at home instead of partying. actually feel healthier really. both financially and physically. financial plan is going well. SAVE, that is

no driving this weekend cos instructor isn't free. but I think its because he values his life and fancies living for one more week rather than go through 2 hours of formula 1 racing with me in a Toyota Altis.

whole bunch of friends are leaving again and I hate it. well at least they'll be back soon enough.

people like... gwen
please take care okay. come back with hot swede in tow. bring meatballs. and for God's sake get your hands on a camera lah. whoever goes to Europe without bringing a camera huh?!

people like... shandy
oh wait, you aren't leaving that soon right. eh, always flying around. spare me some of your frequent flyer miles, YO. and yeah, $50 (:

----------

my to-do list is slowly getting filled as well. lets recap:

- get a PSP
(done. good deal actually)
- get new Sennheiser/Audio Technica earphones for iPod
(not yet, i intend to use the old pair until the rubber casing peels off and the wires in there electrocute me)
- get new haversack (for camp)
(yeahp, not a haversack, but a huge black bag which the Foxtrot denizens affectionately refer to as THE BLACK CHINA BAG. stores a lot of stuff, enough for a cadaver i think. how morbid)
- master at least 3 more songs for the harmonica
(not yet. no time really. harmonica's still in camp sitting around and collecting dust in the closet)
- pass driving
(nah uh. need more time)
- gain weight
(gained 3 kg, quite okay i think. muscle, MUSCLE!)
- suppress urge to get new W950i handphone (no julian, your tactics aren't exactly working)
(now I'm actually getting the LG KU990 aka VIEWTY phone. beauty, man)
- visit grandparents' niche at Mandai Columbarium
(no time to actually cab down. maybe after CNY when my schedule frees up i guess)
- find time for friends from all over (I'm sorry people)
(i'm working on this, but its going okay I think. hmmmm)
- blog productively (minus away stupid lists that go on and on and end up making no sense)
(the above list doesnt count)

----------

hello 2008

2008-01-01T17:39:00.000+08:00

hello 2008, i love you.
may you be a better year for me. in every way possible.
new year, new beginnings

----------

May God grant you the Serenity to Accept things You Cannot Change
the Courage to Change Those You Can
And the Wisdom to Know the Difference

-the serenity prayer

last post

2007-12-30T17:00:00.000+08:00

quite possibly the last post of the year. 2007, you haven't always been good to me, but i appreciate all the memories nonetheless.

yeahp, I've aged. older and wiser(i hope) and more aware of whats happening around me. like boom, i grew up overnight. no longer the boy i saw myself as back in polytechnic. growing up with a lot of extra responsibilities now. there's so many things i have, i want and i know i have to do and accomplish. Army made me grow up and face my fears. no route or avenue to run to in shame. i shock myself when i see pictures of me now and that of me at the beginning of the year. apart from physical changes, i saw a part of me that i left behind. more years of aging and maturing to come.

hasn't been a particularly good financial year. possibly the year of my highest expenditure thus far in life. spent money on all sorts of stuff. wasted quite a bit. I'm sorry, money. spent and spent like water and if i'm spending like this when it only says 20 on my forehead, would be hard to see what i'll turn out to be in like... 5 years to come. guess i'll have to come up with some sort of financial plan for 2008. and as usual, why am i spending money to watch myself suffer. funny, hahaha

not the year for love either it seemed. everything fell apart on me and at times left me wondering if it was me. truthfully, i think its me la who screwed up. brains didn't work fine and made me do stupid things that i oh-so-regret now. got to know lovely people and lost some equally lovely ones as well.

why do good things have to come to an end. sometimes i secretly hoped, wished or prayed that a word of SORRY can piece together torn/shattered fragments of memories again. it was only the week before Valentine's Day and I hurt you like no nothing has ever done. i thought i moved on, it was hard. but i did. sometimes i still think of you, sometimes i look at old pictures of us doing stupid stuff and i smile.

i thought i picked myself up months later and moved on with someone else. heartless bastard, you must have thought. in truth, it never happened for me. the Army called, it was tough. and then boom, it was all over. she left. some things just weren't meant to be. but if YOU happen to be reading this, know that you taught me so much. I never faulted or blamed you.

you are and always would be someone special in my heart.
thank you, q

----------
2007, you've outstayed your welcome (:

why oh why

2007-12-25T16:10:00.002+08:00

THE WHY LIST.
a list of WHYs, WHYs and even more WHYs
(actually I am equally clueless)

-why does kindness not beget kindness
-why are some people still alive when they should have been hung, drawn and quartered like eons ago
-why are dancers mystifying
-why do women normally choose the hard way out of things
-why does the toast land buttered side down
-why does MOS continue to frustrate me time and time again
-why am I spending more money than i can earn
-why are there freeloading friends
-why does our public transport system suck
-why do good guys always finish last

-why do good things have to come to an end
-why do people change or metamorphosize into monsters
-why am I not half the man i used to be
-why are we nothing more than just wretched souls in this cruel existence
-why does poetry keep me sane
-why do we have to be slaves to money
-why are we aging faster than a speeding bullet
-why are there people trying so hard to become someone they very obviously are not
-why do I hate myself for being weak
-why does technology hate me now

-why did my handphone die when I needed it most
-why do old angmoh men continue to delude themselves that they can dance
-why do I keep running into people whom I particularly detest
-why didn't Adam & Eve eat the snake as well when it told them about the fruit
-why are the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer
-why do I always go for girls whom I know are far superior to me in status
-why am I spending money to see myself suffer
-why am I still on blogger when I should be moving to livejournal
-why did she have to go
-why does cedric suck

----------

i was tearing through my archives. and i saw this.

"Ced, do you love me because I'm beautiful or am i beautiful because you love me?"

and this...(Valentine's Day 2007, i reflected on the Valentine's of 2 years before after a bad break-up)

first the perfume at the bus stop. it was rather uncertain, but you still smiled, that smile lit up every single morning of mine. you never knew that, or did you? i couldn't walk you up as I was rushing to board the bus to travel 1hr 30 mins down to school. but tried to recompense by promising to call later at night. I didn't. I'm sorry. Must have felt really empty at school amidst all the couples. I felt it and was powerless. I knew you were hurt. It pricked me.

a year passed and the big day was around the corner again. i remembered this day for the bouquet of flowers. i woke up early, ponned school, surprised you with the bouquet, then walked you to school. your bemused reaction followed by the 'awwwwwwwwww' drew a wide beam on my face. i must have looked like an idiot grinning from side to side. your friends were there, you didn't seem to be bothered by their jibes. yes, 5 red and 1 pink. i remembered. its what every lady deserved on V-Day and especially such a beautiful one shouldn't be caught dead in school without the saccharine accompaniment of roses, i said. you said it was corny.

christmas

2007-12-23T12:49:00.000+08:00

its Christmas. another year has past me by and man, i feel old. Christmas used to be a time of joy and celebration, but i guess it doesn't apply when you are in the army. oh bummer. They are determined to deprive you of as much freedom as possible and generally make you feel miserable.

like how PC 16 referred to us as "lowest life forms" 2 weeks back. now it makes all the sense in the world.

someone's back though and it puts a smile on my face. a prayer every night for you, as always i promised.
-to keep you safe and sound.
-to see you loved and sheltered.
-to see you smile.

but most likely we won't get to meet up la. no time, no time. we are all busy people. and yeah, things are so different now.

Life has been good. no, really. I'm enjoying myself every time I book out. be it coffee and chillouts with old friends, dates with hot girls(yeah right, haha), partying the night away or a quiet drink at the pub with the guys, I'm loving it all.

----------

more driving practicals and I'm beginning to feel comfortable with driving. still got some work to do on my turning though. reverse parking can probably wait. but really expensive la, considering how I'm splashing money like water now.

added point to take note of : must, MUST keep hands(fingers, in particular) on the steering wheel at all times(I'll try) and not wave them in the air when the guy behind cuts into my lane abruptly.

what's with singaporean drivers really. making me develop genocidal tendencies only.

----------

and this was actually seen & heard from the previous week in camp:

"Sir, please face the wall, place your hands on it, legs wide apart and turn your LEFT head to the LEFT side."

HAHAHA. seriously.

drive

2007-12-16T10:25:00.000+08:00

driving is fun. but almost crashing and dying isn't. hahaha
alright la, i think i was sleepy and deprived of sufficient rest, but no big problem cos still alive and breathing.

i think my instructor nearly got a heart attack, hyperventilated and passed out on the spot because I drive as if Fernando Alonso & Lewis Hamilton are right alongside me competing for the chequered flag. i put F1 to shame la. what a load of cock and bull. haha :p

whole weekend's worth of debauchery and hard drinking is taking a toll on my mental state of mind.

----------

friday night was good. like no other I've had since enlistment. good company, good drinks and good music. except for that cheena pub we went to before eventually settling for Timbre. best choice of the night. I think I'm gonna get a lot of stick from the guys because of what happened that night. both a night to remember and forget as well.

spending money like water as well and that is not good. saving money and being thrifty is a virtue. must repeat mantra five times in my head.

----------

and also because people don't get anymore intellectual than this:
(i love my friends, really)

i was asked this question:

johnny went to the market and bought 20kg of beef(that's a lot of beef, really)
one kg of beef cost $5.00(erm, okay)

QUESTION
how tall was the cow? (arghhhhhhhhh!)

balcony

2007-12-09T16:57:00.000+08:00

some people are having difficulties understanding my english. i have no idea why because i think i speak/write normally without going overboard. nope, i don't have an accent and certainly don't see a point in adopting a faux accept. i speak the way i'm most comfortable with a slight lazy drawl to the tone. not very easy on some people's ears i think.

i read a lot, i write a lot. yes, i'm into poetry. but I draw the line where its required. like normal written conversational on msn and yeah, i think I'm very singaporean in my speech as well. (lappie says i'm an ahbeng.) so why uh people? hahaha

----------

nothing major happened in camp though. except that Brandon's jokes are getting ever more lame by the day.

like: YOU KNOW YOU ARE POOR WHEN YOU GO TO KFC AND THE ONLY THING YOU CAN LICK ARE YOUR OWN FINGERS.

my Ninja buddy, Kaikian decided to up the lame factor one scale by replying "YES, BACKACHE" when questioned by the medic if he had any allergies to EGGS & DAIRY PRODUCTS before our scheduled vaccination.

and how can I ever forget Marcus with "WHICH IS CORRECT : THE YOLK IS WHITE or THE YOLK ARE WHITE?"
to which the answer is of course none of the above because egg yolks are YELLOW, not WHITE.

damn, stupidly got punk'd for the above. haha, darn malaysians

----------

chillout at town was awesome. great fun, great company. whole buckets of laughter packed within. love it when people turn red from booze. super cute la.

not so healthy on my wallet though, but i'll cope fine. pay's coming in afterall. camwhored as well, sounds wrong when guys use the term.

fish & co's seafood platter is still the best tasty seafood dish i've done. why don't they serve food like that in the cookhouse. i'll be happy to confine myself every weekend just for the food.

been buffing up myself as well. effects apparent on the biceps, triceps and abs. press on, press on. feels good to be fit really.

now i really needa work on my chin-ups.

dancer

2007-12-02T12:58:00.000+08:00

the past week sure felt like hell. every single day was a torture to both mind & body.
personally i'm proud of how I managed to pull through everything without falling out. but performance could have been better.
but woah, sure didnt saw it coming. like POI training is so much more physically taxing than conventional. except for the fact that we don't get dirty. so much more sweat. and aches.

my personal workout regime every night has been working pretty well too. the changes are already noticeable at my biceps and abs. no time to slacken off just yet, continue working and pumping. maybe my chest would start hurting again. just cant seem to completely shake off the old chest injury. think it would cost me problems in the future.

----------

driving was fun today. cant wait for my next lesson. would probably start doing parking and the more complicated stuff. but arghhh, one lesson a week is hardly enough. i need more practice.

feels like there's still a long way more to go. now Nick, lend me your car la. be as kind as your heart is warm.

i was asking myself why I can never ever understand what goes on in the mind of dancers. like they are oh-so-complicated creatures from another universe.

i think they all have this strange similarity, it dawned upon me. like they are all emotionally warped. they feel so much and suppress it all. not showing it to the world and people around. bottling till it overfills. another drop and all spills. exactly like how real this world we are living in is. probably as real as tears of anguish. i don't understand them at all.

potato smiles

2007-11-25T15:20:00.000+08:00

this place badly needs a revamp. the only questions are... WHEN. and HOW

then again, so does my room. the aircon is down, but that's beside the point. i don't need to book out and live in luxury every week. so lets cast aside the thought of getting a new unit.
now i gotta get to a paint shop to get black paint for the walls. and wait for George man to get back from the Motherland to assist me with the mural.
and visit Grandparent's niche @ Mandai. that hasn't been done yet and I know that I need to because...hmmmm, i dunno. God's will maybe.

its still a little overwhelming right here, asphyxiating perhaps.
so many things to do and so little time. and yes, rush to wait and wait to rush.

its something, so familiar to all of us ain't it.

----------

the psp is doing well, quite an investment especially when i need to get so many more memory cards to house everything. is already beginning to look like a good buy. would bring it into camp upon turning operational. then the fun starts.

driving license is going good as well. cleared basic theory already on first attempt(nothing to be proud of la actually), ever grateful to PS for letting me out to take it. or i'll be so screwed. darn difficult to book a test date that accommodating to an NSF's schedule. beginning practical lessons next week i hope. vroooom vroom. now that Alfa Romeo 2.0 GT really isn't that far away eh? (read: LIE)

from now on I'll have to scrimp and save like mad to do my weekly practical lessons. I can so picture myself voicing out SAVE MONEY! SAVE MONEY! SAVE MONEY! whenever I knock it down in camp instead of the standard 1-2-3-4, 2-2-3-4 & 3-2-3-4 thats already been done to death.

psp

2007-11-18T17:19:00.000+08:00

yeah. i got that PSP already, so thats one item off the TO-DO/BUY list.
and it really did cost me. darn electronic gadget. did do my research and paid a good price for everything + accessories. but money's still money.

but oh well, lets all treat it as an investment. might pay dividends in the future when I'm bored right down to counting my toenails.

the features are overwhelming me at the moment. kokwee blamed it on the army, said that I've been over-armyfied (now where have we heard that term before?) and its laughable how an IT student is struggling with a device like a PSP. yeah, i already feel stupid. thanks dude.

and then i just realized that Michelle Pfeiffer was in White Oleander. the lead. super cock la, what took me so long, i would have no clue.

finished a book while in camp. Marley & Me. yes people, its that book about the golden lab and how it changed the couple's life forever. touching piece, really. especially so if you love dogs. i could really relate to most of the story. definitely worth a read people, get it at all major bookstores. while stocks last.

----------

Life is getting a little overwhelming at the moment.
i'm screwing myself over time and time again when I really shouldn't.
why, God.

ait

2007-11-11T18:23:00.000+08:00

Oh. its been pretty good. AIT is done and over with and POI training is starting soon. no more opportunities to get down and dirty. not that i'm gonna miss that bit of conventional training though.

no blogging about the Army because:

1. the girls absolutely HATE it.
2. the SAF would introduce a whole new definition to the word HATE when they crackdown on me.

no blogging about emo stuff either because:

1. Shakespeare hates my emo poems.
2. I destroy myself from the inside when i drown in semi-self melancholy. not good.

----------

everyone loves lists. so lets have one up.

here's one detailing the TO-DOs on my mind in the short term foreseeable future:

- get a PSP
- get new Sennheiser/Audio Technica earphones for iPod
- get new haversack (for camp)
- master at least 3 more songs for the harmonica
- pass driving
- gain weight
- suppress urge to get new W950i handphone (no julian, your tactics aren't exactly working)
- visit grandparents' niche at Mandai Columbarium
- find time for friends from all over (I'm sorry people)
- blog productively (minus away stupid lists that go on and on and end up making no sense)

----------

and I see you guys in another week's time. adios

overspending

2007-11-04T15:40:00.000+08:00

I really should be shot for spending money like water. as if I'm already not poor enough. bad bad bad.

the weekend's expenditure :

ez-link card top-up - $10
cab from camp to BB with brian tian and then home - $21
booking of driving practice/evaluation/lesson - $10
cab to BBDC for driving stuff - $11
starbucks coffee - $7.80
makan & other random miscellaneous stuff for the weekend - $30
sewing fees for formation colors - $5.40
full length black combat gloves - $7.50
chillout at Wala Wala - $70
cab home from Wala Wala - $19
lunch @ KFC - $8.20

----------

for everything else there's mastercard. and when the billing for my debit card does arrive, i certainly hope Harrison Ford would pop up from behind me and tell me theres more than enough for just one bird in my account. please, oh God.

overspending is such a sin.

atp

2007-10-28T17:14:00.000+08:00

hello society, nice to get reacquainted with you once again. 2 days(okay. 1 and a half maybe) a week and I'm appreciative really. better than nothing and theres forever a ton of things to do whenever an NSF is unleashed onto the streets. for starters, I've got driving lessons on Sundays to contend with.

somehow i think that my blog entries are getting really bland. i either whine or moan about how army is ruining me week in and week out or i complain about how weak I am by getting injured all the time. someone really needs to shut me up or I'll go on and on and eventually implode.

it sucks to feel weak. its a feeling i detest. weakness is vulnerability in a person(makes all the sense in the world). used to be of the mentality that I'm this little guy who's really hard to kill and i take punishment, dish it back double and keep on coming back for more. the daily trainings and the fatigue resulting from it proved me wrong. brings you right back down to Earth. am i really pushing myself too hard. or perhaps I'm not as mentally or physically able as i thought i was/am. one thing's certain though; I'm not half the man i used to be(blatant Beatles' classic ripoff)

been feeling rather... lightweight i shall say, of late. nothing's on my mind. i feel strangely empty. its like a boundless expanse up there where nothing is going on and every thing's stationary. no pressing concerns, no relationship matters, no social life, no thought provoking acts, no emo and dark times to reflect, dwell and ponder upon. it is liberating in a sense, but sometimes i get the feeling that I'm losing my senses and emptying my brain juice.

yeah, i hate the way I'm describing it because its grossly inadequate i know. but the language seemed to have forsaken me. in Jayina's words, I've been ARMYFIED.

----------

avenged sevenfold released their 4th album(f*cking finally, after 4 years) and i was rather disappointed to say the least. knew that their sound's bound to change somehow, but never actually thought/expected that they would sound like some alternative rock band with mild metal elements in their work now. some good tracks in there though. I'll probably get over the initial disappointment la. one of my favorite bands afterall.

let go

2007-10-22T14:23:00.000+08:00

Live through feeling and you will live through love
For feeling is the language of the soul, and feeling is truth
Every word, every word is spoken but without a sound
And I found out what my heart is for

Guess this is where I truly let things rest
Perhaps this is where we'll both find peace.

----------

thank you for everything

week3

2007-10-14T16:46:00.000+08:00

and I'm back again. well, happy to be back of course, but Life's still a blank. zero social life

training's picking up pace and its getting tougher. body's beginning to feel the strain and running up to 25km in a week is no fun at all. i'm a strong runner, but seriously running has got to be the most unproductive exercise ever. you just run and run towards your finishing line and nothing much is ever achieved.
only recommended for people with flabby lower limbs. I'll rather do sports.

the pain in my chest is still there and it feels like staying for at least quite a while more. X-ray results showed nothing wrong with my bone structure, a real relief to hear that.

guess the MO was right afterall. the pain is muscular.

----------

field camp coming up on Monday. am looking to get it done and over with.
would be fun to see people 'dying like chee cheong fun' (statement courtesy of Brian Yeo) while outfield.

countdown towards the end of AIT. 4 weeks left I believe. you'll hardly know me as someone optimistic. so uhmmm, we'll see. hahaha

met up with old buddy Marlon the other night and the talk was good lah. after all these months. bla bla bla. better than Yoga i reckon. very liberating. it's been such a long time really. and how we have all aged. was good to discuss plans for the future and throw ideas here and there. why wouldn't time slow to a crawl when you want it to.

----------

sometimes as humans, we are darn increasingly difficult to be contented with what we have. ha

better

2007-10-08T18:05:00.000+08:00

am gradually accepting the fact that 6th SIR would be my home for the remainder of my NS life.
am trying to make myself like it and I think I'm doing an okay job really.
am slowly adjusting to being around different people from different social backgrounds.

some prejudices still remain, ill let them.

----------

2 weeks into AIT already. and its getting really fun. lets see what else they have in store for us.
they dish the punishment, we take it.

this is sounding increasingly sadistic. but well, am alive and coping. what doesn't kill you only seeks to make you stronger.

made friends with people in there. some of them i can see myself going the mile with. the days to come will prove. so much has changed, really.
cannot wait for Dec to dawn upon me. thats when we get deployed to key installations and it would get a lot easier. bit by bit, i tell myself.

took up driving already. like finally. now i'll work towards it.

----------

best of luck to those enlisting on Oct 10/15.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU LEAVE BEHIND, IT'S WHAT YOU'LL GAIN IN THE DAYS AHEAD.
HAHAHA

six

2007-09-30T14:12:00.000+08:00

back from a week at new unit. 6th SIR.

first few days were tormenting. it wasn't the physical part of it all, but rather, all mental.
never thought ill end up there. with people so different. thought I've always been versatile enough to be around people from all backgrounds. so wrong, it hurts.

things move at a snail's pace in there. old run-down buildings and facilities, the daily running of the place, attitude of the people there, dark and claustrophobia-inducing bunks, various lowlives.

so many of the BMTC guys posted in with me were trying desperately to get out. the mental strain was incredulous. and it really took its toll on our minds.

the days did get better however. slowly began to acclimatise and accept the fact. things that we cannot change, i shall say no more. but for now, I'll be content to take my x-ray on the 5th and then see what happens after that. we let God decide.

----------

tough times really do bring out the best sides of people. how they react and adapt to overcome bumps along the beaten path. admirable really to see how strong humanity can get.

was at church today. prayed for God to make me a better and stronger person, both mentally and physically. no longer would I be whiny, perpetually emo and drown in self-semi melancholy. its a side nobody wants to see. and I despise myself whenever i plunge down to that level. its stupid to wallow in self-pity and expect someone to come sympathize and give you a tug. pointless, because the world is cruel and men are selfish.

realized that my prayers mostly revolved around some main points.

-for God to make me better and stronger, both in mental and physical aspects
-to be able to overcome and suppress any ailment and illness that would afflict me
-for Her' to always be safe and sound over at where she is now

----------

i haven't exactly realized the power of prayer. might never will, or maybe someday i would. but talking to air does have a strangely pleasurable hypnotic effect on me.

helps to make me sleepy too.

navras

2007-09-18T22:40:00.000+08:00

NAVRAS.
the word intrigues me, the song replays for the umpteenth time in my head.
why does the tune haunt me so.

----------

Navras is a Sanskrit word that, when broken down, refers to the nine ("nava") emotional states ("rasa") that are exhibited during music, drama, and the visual arts, the experience of which bring about a state of transcendental bliss. (wikipedia)

The nine different states are as follows:

Love
Humor
Pathos
Wrath
Heroism
Horror
Disgust
Supernaturalism
Peace

----------

the song first struck me way back in poly year 2 upon release of The Matrix trilogy. nope, i didn't watch any of the shows. happened upon the soundtrack and got hooked. then SAJC's dance society performed the piece to near perfection. i watched in utter admiration.

like WOW. amazing how something so simple can end up so complex at the same time.

never understood what the lyrics to Navras meant until GJP interpreted and deciphered it to be Sanskrit.
boy do we love friends who have extraordinary talents. (i didn't know he was a bboy too until like 17.178 minutes ago, but that's beside the point :p)

the first few lines really made me sit up, crank in and listen. it boomed:

asato ma sad gamaya
tamaso ma jyotir gamaya
mrutyor ma amrtam gamaya

translated to:

From delusion lead me to truth
From darkness lead me to light
From death lead me to immortality

----------

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo2BWUCH3e8

done

2007-09-14T16:40:00.000+08:00

POP.
3 alphabets. means so much more.

----------

flurry of activities. zouk outing with the U4 guys where i accomplished the once-thought unachievable task of falling asleep outside the toilet, behind the washing fountain. how I managed that, i would never know.
but judging from the fact that only 3 hours of rest was available to me from POP till zouk night out, a clue can be derived.

but was fun lah. got to see sides of platoon mates you never thought existed or even remotely possible. like how Bobo was such a hotshot on the dance floor. and an expert grinder to boot. hidden talent, join LIVE THE DREAM dude.

music was pretty good as well. a little veering off the line of mambo, but still made for good boogieing and post-drunk madness. I learnt that Baron's really isn't the beer for me. anytime. tasted rather awful. should have stuck with good ol' Carlsberg.

for some strange reason that puzzles me till this day, the Vodka Lime tasted like ammonia. yes, I know. it didn't exactly taste like lemon sherbet. the ammonia, not the Vodka Lime. don't ask me how that happened.

----------

chalet+BBQ was FLY as well. FLY, new term imparted to me by kind folks in the make of Darrel & Bobo.

went trigger and tossing happy. Took lotsa shots and dunked lotsa unfortunate dudes into the pool. handphones, wallets and all. no mercy
food was good, but for some reason I never got enough to eat. my appetite's reached monstrous levels since the Army claimed me. I NEED FOOD. FEED ME.

everyone was pretty high and all. point proven on how precious civilian life is to an enlisted solider.
we let the pictures do the talking. HERE.

pop

2007-09-09T14:49:00.000+08:00

you know how people say that time flies. and you are never convinced.
yeah. i still am not. hahaha. so 8(or maybe) weeks have passed and I'm going to POP soon.
out of Tekong and into a new phase of military life at a unit.

the pain in my chest persists even after a week of medication. gonna have to seek further medical attention i guess. i feel my body breaking down sometimes from over-exertion.
i feel changed. like how hardship can really mould your mind.

----------

I've changed physically, I've changed mentally. a lot stronger perhaps, but still some traces of weakness. i hate to be weak. or show that side of me to people.

WHAT IS DEATH TO YOU? ARE YOU AFRAID? after hovering and sitting on the fence for quite some time, ill say that I'm not afraid of Death. at least for now, for this very moment. I remember telling someone :" you only die once. treasure Life, no doubt. but what if Death claims you in an accident? are you prepared? you DIE, BOOM and you are DEAD. does everything else matter anymore? "
people would mourn for you. people would be angry that you left the world and left so many unfinished tasks to be cleaned up. you are irresponsible, you are not mentally matured to live Life. but what if its for a better place for the body, mind and soul? do we even know?

no, i'm not suicidal nor do i consider these thoughts morbid. but with much thought, I told myself I'll live Life everyday like its my last. so if Death claims me, then it does. Look forward to dying, not exactly a phrase you'll see in the vocabulary of some random optimistic idiot out there.

had another one of those heart-to-heart talks with Han at the live range. always good to provide a listening ear. its like how you hear about another person's Life. and reflect upon your own and what has happened. talk about how the last few years of living has been. the ups and downs. the pleasure and pain. inner demons as well. interesting, respect

like how Shannon said, the happiest people on the outside are the most tormented inside
. how true is that. touch your heart and answer yourself. the answer is within.

----------

see. emo-nonsensical again. and i wanted to blog about happy stuff okay i swear. didn't work out as planned. and i gotta book in now. darn. TIME, OH WHY FATHER TIME.

bye

2007-08-25T14:42:00.000+08:00

I'M LEAVING ON A JET PLANE, DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL BE BACK AGAIN.
the song's ringing in my ears. been on repeat for over and over.

yes people, she's gone already. but I'm okay (for those who might be concerned about my mental health). I've prepared myself for the day, the hour and the moment. and came it did.

it hit me just like that. BANG. and then its over. true to The Beatles, I'm not half the man I used to be. or something like that lah. HAHAHA. sometimes i amaze myself simply by being able to laugh at myself in the most dire of scenarios. thats me. why uh?

its been an awesome 6 months. chock full of drama, both pain and pleasure. I've learnt and changed so much. It's almost like I've reached that imaginary mental crossroad between CHILD and ADULT and made my choice.

The 3 page letter I wrote to her was my most beautiful work so far(then again, self-praise is no praise). I don't think I'll ever play Romeo and write another girl some emo-sensical HOW-IT-ALL-STARTED-AND-ENDED letter ever again. totally gut-wrenching and excruciating on the heart.

----------

All my bags are packed
Im ready to go
Im standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already Im so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times Ive let you down
So many times Ive played around
I tell you now, they dont mean a thing
Evry place I go, Ill think of you
Evry song I sing, Ill sing for you
When I come back, Ill bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
Ill be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I wont have to leave alone
About the times, I wont have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

doubt

2007-08-11T17:45:00.000+08:00

Doubt thou that the stars are fire;
Doubt thou that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt that I love.

- William Shakespeare, Hamlet

conjunc

2007-08-04T14:49:00.000+08:00

alright. i am back. but hardly in a healthy state.
booked out for the 2nd time yesterday for all the wrong reasons really.

----------
it was the 1st day of field camp and I was already stricken with red eyes. it wasn't full blown conjunctivitis at that point yet i think. was told to monitor my own situation and report it the next day if it got worse

2nd day of field camp and my eye wasn't getting any better. got a lot worse in fact and there was yellow discharge oozing from both eyes. got evacuated to the medical center and warded for one night there. loneliest and most silent night i ever endured i think. would have foamed at all open bodily orifices and died from spasms of boredom if it wasn't for some chatty ward mates who sought to cheer up the perpetually emo and pessimistic me.

3rd day and I was discharged to go home. by now i knew that re-field camp was imminent and it would have to be with some other company with complete strangers. no choice, have to go through it to clear BMT.

tonner arrived back at company line with my stuff and woah, my bed buddy Turtle came with it. along with 2 other conjunc. cases. seems like the situation's serious. i wouldn't know really. booked out with Turtle, due back at Tekong on Sunday. both a good and bad thing. sigh...

----------

so yeah, am recuperating at home. eyes still bloodshot and red. am looking like the green goblin.

----------

*MEDICAL UPDATE*

alright. so i got my MC extended to the 8th and now i'm wasting away at home. like I feel my body going all weak and soft and i'm actually falling sick because of NOT TRAINING. visited private GP and he told me about a burst blood vessel in my right eye. sounds serious, but actually not. very minimal risk of blindness(i hope)

someone get me back to Tekong man. it sucks when you have rare free time off from the army and then everyone else isn't free to hang out or chill. ultimate bummer.

so yeah. someone rescue me from my cold damp corner and throw me into some sunshine or sweat. SOS

NS

2007-07-13T00:09:00.000+08:00

Today is the day my Life changes.

Today is the day I become a soldier.

Today is the man I call myself a man.

----------

NS, here I come!

person

2007-07-06T00:56:00.000+08:00

to person A:
i wish i knew how to talk to you, i only have one day.

to person B:
i wish you were here so i can tell you everything.

to person C:
i wish i never told you at all.

ikeawithqian

2007-07-01T17:54:00.000+08:00

so the days go by and soon i'll cry.
for the army would come i'll toil and soil.
13 days, the countdown continues.

----------

had quite a week really.
the guys who went in on jun 17th booked out. so we had some mini gathering and celebrated baldness like it was some joy to behold.

weijian was telling stories about the going-ons in camp and some were hilarious. our man has also commented that he finds it awkward to have his name mentioned in my blog entries.
but i really don't care. be honored to be featured okay.

there was this guy in his unit that cannot go out into the sun or he would suffer an instant heart attack. goodness me. that would be scary.

hit the clubs with him after a whole afternoon out with good friend KC and f*ck-your-mother's-coffee Trevor Lim. good company, except when they started blabbering about DC. and i would sit there and emo at one corner. spent quite a lot. i am now POOR

Zouk was particularly awful that night. no, not the company of course. but the DJ and the dance floor. half of the music played wasnt mambo at all, but cheesy teenybopper POP. how do people dance to that i wonder. screw the DJ.

went with Qian and Shuann. and i swear Weijian cracks me up sometimes. our man bought drinks for all of us and then whispered in my ears :" eh bro, can i introduce myself to your friends? " HAHHAHAHHHAA. i could hardly contain my laughter. told him to go ahead in between uncontrollable guffaws.

left quite early in fact and headed home to rest up and recharge for Ikea trip the next day and also to send off Carol & Kaanthan who would be jetting off to the land down under.

----------

so it wasn't as emotional as i thought it would have been. Carol's folks were there along with some friends. and they were all nice people really.

had a quick chat at Swensens and they proceeded to check in at 230pm when their flight would actually only depart at 12.30am. that was like WOW. hahaha

Ikea trip followed after and yeah. it turned out all great. just realized that someone's ticklish. better make a run for it ah. haha
meatballs were great and i missed those. and someone was getting all cutesy over the toys. just like how any random little girl would. awwww.

had a great time really. bought loads of random stuff to freshen up the room.

----------

next up : paint job (gonna paint one side of the wall black. and hopefully do some decals on it)

onesixty

2007-06-25T13:14:00.000+08:00

the 160th post. quite a long way has Cedisfitication come.

i wanna declare that i'm feeling better already. a hell lot better. save for the phlegm still lodged somewhere in my throat and making me sound really hoarse.

does sound like a random old American cowboy back in the wild west with one of those latin lover accents. HOLA, I AM FERNANDO.

been a real rollercoaster ride in fact. from Weijian's enlistment last week up till now.

Day 1: FEVER
Day 2: all clear-
Day 3: sinus problems. nose felt like dropping off
Day 4: Phlegm attack.
Day 5: Library visit.

yeah, day 5 was added in there for randomness. so just ignore it.

----------

flurry of activities coming up next week i think. and they all require money to be spent.

already blew a whole load on the Logitech webcam. with Rightlight, Rightsound and face tracking/recognition technology. was a little let down by the image quality, but its alright. guess I'll live with it. exhibitionist tendencies, NOW. hahaha

Ikea outing coming up. spendings would be on a new trashcan, tissue receptacle, more cushions and some minor additions here and there to my already cosy room. and lets not forget MEATBALLS.

Zouk trip waiting in the wings as well. hope my throat gets better or there would be no mambo jambo. and ill be languishing at home just like poor Melissa. FYP IS FUN.

----------

18 days to NS. the countdown begins.

wj

2007-06-18T21:45:00.000+08:00

CEDRIC IS NOT WELL.

he is running a temperature now and all the ThreeLegs Brand cooling water in the world doesn't seem to have a desired effect on him. oh well.

----------

it was Father's Day yesterday. so the old man and me went down to Geylang. yes, incredible, what a wonderful way to bond with your father..... over a table full of durians, that is.

ate my heart out and then ate some more. and washed everything down with coconut juice. shiokness really, after a full month's protein diet and not eating anything junk food at all. but it sure seems like sessions of the above are unlikely to repeat themselves anytime soon. sighhh

cab down to Boat Quay to hook up with the guys after that. Weijian was due to enlist the very next morning. some major communications cock-up led to me running like a headless chicken around ClarkeQuay/BoatQuay area. realized i lost a lot of my fitness.

finally met up with the 3 musketeers and everyone was pissed. hahaha. Dale drove off to Serangoon Gardens for makan and togo and we went to RK HOUSE. didn't order anything related to pork though. the service standards there were horrible.
i think the indian workers there get played at least once a day because of that infamous RK HOUSE audio clip and they have now developed intense disdain for the chinese ahbengs(US).

makan was awesome really. there was indian rojak, prata and satay. i polished off most of the satay and felt like a walking trashcan due to tip over and spill its contents anytime.

----------

proceeded to locate some Japanese cemetery park and that took quite a while. cheap thrills really, but personally i wouldn't mess with the supernatural. its the respect of something unknown, yet mysteriously alluring in its own right.

finally located said cemetery, but didn't walk or drive in. did shine the headlights through the metal grilled gate and man, pitch black. realized that we were behaving like jackasses and disregarding the peace of the night, so drove off. should have muttered a silent prayer of apology. 80metres down the road just behind the fenced border of the cemetery park, there was a children's playground.

----------

sick.

pukii

2007-06-13T02:39:00.000+08:00

came across this while on TalkingCock.com. my weekly must-visit. pasted it to Jia and she laughed her ass off.

----------

Why the Shanghai Commercial & Savings Bank Cannot Make It in Malaysia
(WATCH THE VIDEO TOO)

POWER LA

sentio

2007-06-09T01:24:00.000+08:00

i jolted up today and whammed my head into the side of the aircon. an annoyed groan of "argh, f**k-ass pain ahh" emanated. then i collapsed back onto the pillow. for the uninformed, my aircon's a window aircon. its mounted on a window grille. and of course my bed lies across it. like 50cm bearing south.

not the best place to position a bed i must say. but its cosy. and i love my room layout. spent almost 2k RE-RENOVATING the place. carpets, blinds, cushions, floor lamps, bedroom set, mini television, more rugs for the chillout corner, bookshelves. mini fridge coming up.

and i'm painting one side of my room's wall BLACK. along with decals purchased from some lifestyle shop. gotta check with Wenyang on which shop he ordered from.

George is gonna get back from India and i'll make him slave alongside me in the paintworks. BANGLA POWER. awesome friend i am.

----------

Sentio was quite alright tonight. enjoyed myself and all. saw a few familiar faces here and there.
all, but mere acquaintances. so yeah.

graced the event with a lovely person. to the lady reading this now, BIG THANK YOU.
looked absolutely fantabulous tonight. dress sense, personality and appearance-wise.

the polaroid picture didn't like me i think. the brown stain on my shirt refused to budge an inch. i looked as if i smeared curry all over myself.

didn't manage to see Rebecca. her brother was there though. i swore on msn to smack her on the head the other night if she ran past me looking flustered and out of breath. could almost visualize that. *EVIL*

didn't happen. someone's cranium got spared a blow. God save the brain cells.

----------

short entry, but YY decided to contribute material to my post, so i thought ill make him famous (free advertising for his mass gainer too!) :

y0ng ye0w - http://sg.auctions.yahoo.com/sg/user/dymasupp says:
fuck u jun jie

miserable

2007-06-03T21:04:00.000+08:00

DRINK, DRANK, DRUNK.
three to sum up a miserable night out.

well, it was JY's birthday and the lot of us decided to troop down to MOS to celebrate in style. well, we did celebrate and boy, did we celebrate. but unfortunately it was all a little too much for poor me.
1st mistake of the night: i drank on an empty stomach.

2nd mistake of the night :
entered club and encountered Darren. made me down a whole glass of Chivas. undiluted. not bad, it actually set me in the mood for partying, but the warning bells were already ringing and being in a heck care hang loose mood, i foolishly ignored them. bad decision.

night went on and i can vaguely remember:
3rd mistake of the night: downing more and more glasses of poison. each time with lesser and lesser mixers and it actually felt great to lose yourself to the booze and music. but i didn't put a stop to that.

4th mistake of the night: i continued drinking more.

and then i remembered myself at the toilet. slumped and out puking. i must have spent ages in the cubicle because one of their staff came in to check on me. picked up and proceeded up the hallway and squatted there to people watch. not very successful i must say when you can barely walk and open your eyes.

then melissa appeared in front of me. i had no idea how that was possible, but i opened my eyes and she was there. followed out to meet shandy's mates. and in my drunken stupor state i introduced myself to the wrong people. shandy was standing beside this bunch of guys and i immediately proceeded to introduce myself. then she said those weren't her friends. DAMN. HAHAHA.

more puking ensued at the toilet outside MOS. and then more puking. must have regurgitated my guts out. felt genuinely horrible. the last time i can remember getting so wasted was after sec 4. vowed never to land myself in such a pathetic state again. well, didn't work out.
stupid man.

mel appeared again and dragged me off to Liang's McDonalds ranting all the way. must have cut a menacing figure. embarrassing i think to be scolded all the while. i remembered nodding my head in agreement to everything she said. JY and guys were already at Macs. started talking and sobering and it got really bad cos you know what to expect once wasted people get sober.

----------

hit home at 5.30am and immediately proceeded to wash up and head down to Paya Lebar Airbase for the National Runway Challenge 2007. overslept on the 900. overslept on the 966. both times i had to get down and walk 1.5km back to where i wanted to end up. was late and Victor left my ticket behind a stack of feedback forms at the station. i felt like i was doing some recon work and retrieving a dead drop for further instructions.

the event was pretty cool though. there was this guy trying desperately to stifle a hangover and maintain consciousness while steering his bike at breakneck speed down the runway. it must have been difficult cos he crashed and burned twice along the route and ended up with multiple injuries.

1st crash: turned back to signal to his friend and the next thing he knew, a metal heavy divider was in collision course 2 metres away. whammed straight into it while accelerating. injuries on limbs.

2nd crash: was following behind his friend when his front and friend's rear tires impacted. threw him off his bike. injuries to shoulders.

rest of event was pretty uh... uneventful. puked more after completion of the run. was a combination of the hot sun and impending hangover. severely dehydrated and any water taken in was promptly ejected via a high tech output mechanism in exactly 3.156 minutes after reception. thank God for sport drinks though. downed one and felt mighty better, but still sick enough to put everyone off.

hit home, bathed and slept. woke at 8pm. bio clock screwed again. oh God why.

altruistic

2007-05-29T20:36:00.000+08:00

i am sick of being the COMPLETE friend sometimes. the friend who goes way out of his comfort zone to get things done for you. to get things in order. to make things happen.

sick of being the friend always making the sacrifices and then plastering a false smile onto my mug and say its okay. sick of hearing of promises made only to be ended up broken in the future. i've had this before years back. all of a sudden it feels so strangely familiar all over again. it really doesn't pay to be altruistic anymore i guess.

there would probably be a whole list of incidents when i've been made to look like a fool and i've grinned and bore it. dark times when i refused to compromise friendship and instead chose to suppress my principles. times where i thought i was being a stick in the mud and adhering to laws, rules and values that are long obsolete now. i tried to be flexible and adaptable.

sometimes i think i should just toss my personal values down the drain and adopt a cock loose and lawsuit free mentality where i have the right to play people out and break promises at will hoping that time would heal even the deepest wounds in minutes to come.

i believe a lot in the word PROMISE. i know how it feels to break one. the person on the receiving end of the broken promise gets hurt and that amount of hurt is hardly surpassed by any known form of living pain. i know how it feels like to put your faith/trust in someone only to have it tossed back like a head of lettuce in your face. i hardly break a promise these days.

because of recent events, I've been led to believe that friendship is heavily dependent on the 3 Rs. i shall term them as RELIABILITY, RESPONSIBILITY & RESPECT. i'm sure there's more to friendship out there, but writers block is preventing me for running my neuro-search engine.

----------

and i'm sure its a sign of things to come. one of my favorite fish is in critical condition and probably wont survive the night. its a jack dempsey. like anyone would know what i'm talking about. HAH. but its alright. God bless its soul. loyal companion for almost 4 years now. the sinking feeling sucks. you hold something beloved in your hands and watch as every tiny bit of energy seeps away from its body that would soon be devoid of Life .

a flurry of activities coming up this week:

Wednesday- IJC/MI Concert @ IJC.
Thursday- badminton with Isk. maybe.
Friday- dinner at Dad's place to discuss future studies
Saturday- Seminar @ Orchard Hotel regarding further studies/ MOS for JY's birthday
Sunday- Paya Lebar Airbase endurance challenge(biking)
Monday- dinner @ Aunt's place

unsw

2007-05-24T21:39:00.000+08:00

anyone who hasn't been living in a cave for the past week would be of the knowledge that UNSW Singapore is no more. they would be ceasing operations after June 28, the last day of the school term. and the news rocked me.

see I've been planning on advancing my studies and it was more or less finalized already. agreed with Dad and aunt and was rather excited about the prospect of it all. now its like BOOM. straight back to the drawing board for me. back to basics. future planning 103 all over again.

i sure hope this isn't God's way of telling me I should accept the RSAF's offer.

had some showdown talks with the aunt over sms last night after the news report concerning UNSW. and the thought of Australia came up again. true, we've discussed that before and it wouldn't be half as bad as i make it out to be.

you know, all that uprooting 10 years of your Life and relocating to another country and then start to settle in a foreign land thing.
but i really don't want or simply cannot bear to leave everything I have behind. its just, so much hard work.

I HATE CHANGE.

----------

i realize that i'm very much a househusband now. i enjoy Washing, Ironing, Feeding & Entertaining. that equates to W.I.F.E. because of that Sam wants to marry me. i am not shy to admit that. HAHAHA

derived a lot of satisfaction from cooking and preparing my own meals now. and i actually take pride in whipping up good dishes. its all about that passion.

and of course i loved doing housework since young. quite the neat freak and i pay attention to every single detail no matter how microscopic they might be. i'm possibly the only mad guy out there who mops the floor(his room) with a wet cloth.

i actually thought that the washing machine was a brilliant invention. because of that we no longer have to journey down to the nearest stream lugging a laundry basket to wash dirty linen in public(i know, no link at all).

and that the iron and ironing board could actually be modified into a torture device? ARGH HELL. IM PLAIN RANDOM LAH.

all part of an independent male lifestyle.

i hope NS treats me well though.

----------

and i came across something that cracked me up on the spot:

OH MATHS.

reply

2007-05-19T16:26:00.000+08:00

alright. so RSAF got back to me regarding the COMPASS test results and ill admit I was slightly disappointed. didn't get selected for Pilot. got offered a place as an WSO(fighter) instead. which means ill be in charge of the ordnance and navigation of the aircraft while the Pilot does the actual flying. its something close to a Co-Pilot.

i can so imagine myself hitting the wrong buttons and ka-boom, a Tallboy bomb escapes the bomb bay and decimates Lim Chu Kang cemetary. the authorities move in and end up recovering the remains of 43736 dead.

I remember how i used to tell myself that I'll sign on with the air force and serve a 6 year bond. and decide what is to come after that. some really careful thinking followed and I couldn't convince myself enough that a military career was right. so i scrapped that and decided to do journalism/media/writing @ UNSW.

and just when i THOUGHT everything was sorted out, RSAF drops a bombshell on me. now i've got to revisit my thinking process. and start feeling stupid all over again because its back to the drawing board and to that I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT WITH LIFE stage. ah shucks

----------

on a brighter side of things, I've landed myself a temporary job stint for mid June. some sort of private trade show where I'll have to be in formal and entertain associates and executives attending the event. and they specified NO CONTROVERSIAL HAIRSTYLES. guess what i have on my head now?

would be fun i guess. am actually looking forward to doing it. and after the whole thing's ended i'll do some hanging around with mates. and enlist a happy man after that.

was at my alma mater just now. it was the 25th anniversary for Woodlands Secondary. went back feeling rather empty because the whole compound's new. they tore up every building in the old compound after my graduation.

i was telling Wenxin that i don't have any luck with schools and such.

One year after I graduated from Marsiling Primary, the heavy equipment moved in and tore down the whole school. has since been rebuilt

One year after I graduated from Woodlands Secondary, the even heavier equipment moved in and tore down the whole school as well. brand new buildings in place now.
no memories left. but some old teachers were still around. stopped and made conversation with a couple of them. we've all changed so much. and i feel like a fossil.

Oh good Lord i thank God that my polytechnic's not gonna get torn down anytime soon really. (:

----------

on a more random note, i think my dog is emo. like owner like dog.

would have to keep a close eye on him in case he decides to slit himself with a razor while penning morose poetry in the bathtub.

i even managed to capture pictorial evidence:

spf

2007-05-14T03:51:00.000+08:00

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, cold, confused and without a road map. The choices that dawn upon us in those very moments can determine and define the rest of our living days. It is human nature that we are afraid of the future, of what is to come, afraid of the unexpected and when young, afraid of the dark. One word, uncertainty. Many choose to turn back, walk back along the beaten path. Even more choose to deny, deceive and delude themselves.

But sometimes, just sometimes, we push and strive on, pick ourselves up in the knowing that there might be something better. Something we want or desire. Something that could yet lead to greatness. We look towards sources of inspiration, tales of courage and victory, how many people before have found the strength to press on. Strength beyond our very own, bravery like no other. Dare to dream.

We only know who we truly are after tests and trials. Boulders along a path that could potentially bog us down in our quest. God, people or nature. Nothing can stand in the way of the passionate and driven. The person you really want to be exists, somewhere on the other side of hard work, faith and belief.

Many people are still at the crossroad, unable to come to a decision whether as to progress towards the light or withdraw into the darkness. No one could predict what lies in the future, everyone is fearful. But what if we choose to withdraw and find that the beaten trail we arrived on doesn't exist anymore, that Nature was a step behind us and the landmarks, the footprints, the memories are all now a figment of the past and is now irrecoverable. The situation now unsalvagable.

Life is a game, like so many before have mentioned. A very tough game. All the world's a stage, and the men and women, merely players.

Let shut the weary eyes of yesterday.
Think, ponder, reflect.

rsaf

2007-05-08T17:02:00.000+08:00

okay. so i received a letter from RSAF. got shortlisted for pilot selection

and i'm supposed to report down on the 10th of may at 8am to CMPB, Air Force Recruitment Center to take the 5 hour long COMPASS test. oh man, i really didn't know what to expect until Longwei let me in on some of the finer details today afternoon.

think its all gonna be computerized. but well, military secrets.

initially thought it was gonna be some patience/tolerance test. like stuff 20 guys in a pink 10x10 room and make them wait for 5 hours without any form of communication with the outside world. that would've been hell. I'll probably walk out after an hour and wave my white mucus stained handkerchief, then convulse and get sent to A&E.

yeah. no pink man. and i don't think I'm claustrophobic either. sorry Lappie.

heard that only 3 out of every 100 people get to advance through the test. and i really don't fancy a career in the military.

never mind. shall just go for it and see what happens.

----------

also received an email today afternoon. it was from SCDF and got me curious

proceeded to click on it and see what it had to say. the first line that jumped at me was :

"ITS A CLEAR CHOICE. ANSWER YOUR CALLING WITH SCDF"

i took 4.17894 seconds to process what that meant.

and then pressed the DELETE button. f**k NO.

manchester united

2007-05-07T01:07:00.000+08:00

WE HAVE WON THE LEAGUE !!!

GLORY OH GLORY, MANCHESTER UNITED !!!

whataweek

2007-05-03T23:23:00.000+08:00

i feel strangely at peace with myself. i don't know why exactly.
but its quite an interesting start to a blog entry.

quite a packed week really. it was the BBQ one day, then Ikea trip the other and capped by Zouk night out and soccer watching @ Balcony bar.

am both financially and physically drained as we type.

----------

BBQ was great fun. i was messing and clowning around as usual. YY and Isk got ever more intimate with one another and yeah, was kinda nice seeing everyone again. most looking rosy and happy.

played really dumb games. and the punishment meted out involved finishing up leftovers. i loved satay and made YY buy $15 more specially for me. bad move really. had to finish up everything when i lost the last competitive round of Bluff. shouldn't have listened to Isk. for the first time in my life i was afraid of satay and otah. poor Isk seemed to be without luck in everything he did. lost and lost and got ribbed over and over again. consecutive cocksucker. hahaha

Dexun was being plain entertaining. ever so colorful with his language. every sentence has to begin with a profanity. but it managed to tickle all of us. good entertainment right there. his 'spats' with Isk really cracked me up.

and then we took pictures. lots of em. but i look like a caveman in most of them. except this one :

i love my headband. random, but true. took a lot more pics on the way home. especially at the bus stop outside parkway parade. i love the camera, but im sure it doesn't feel the same way for me.

----------

shopping trip to Ikea the very next day. bought like 5 cushions and until now i'm still wondering why i bought them. bought cheap blinds as well to test out on my window. would be returning to get venetian blinds.

bought an office armchair at Courts. was out of stock, so had to place an order. the guy who took my order and processed it had a serious anxiety attack. he was fidgeting, sweating and continuously tapping on the Backspace button when he listened to my request. and i don't think i'm scary either.

but HE scared me in fact. there were lotsa mistakes in the receipt and i had to make him correct it about 3 times. boy i prayed that he didn't cock up my order to the main Courts warehouse.

the chair arrived on the next day and was in good condition. i'm a happy customer. spent almost $200 on it inclusive of delivery. original price was $349!

i love my chair.

----------

zouk trip+soccer hangout day for sec sch mates and I on Wednesday. Weijian brought his friend along and her name was... Ophelia. this is getting tooo freaky really.

but i shall only say that the person didn't do the name in my dream any justice at all. was seriously a let down and I was even disgusted at some moments. typical poly chinese speaking type and was quite loud at times. turn off. make no mistake, i have nothing against poly students. good mateys of mine would gladly testify. but poly bengs/lians/mats/minahs who pretend to be someone they are very obviously not... thats a big NO NO for me.

you know those types who speak English in a faux accent. pretend to like art and throw names/terms at you?
and then promptly decide to change the topic once you engage them in discussions a little beyond the surface?

zouk was boring me out initially. then it started to get fun, fun and FUN. music got a lot better and i got quite amazed at how some people can dance to every single mambo song. melissa, we should learn mambo and get on the platform one day.

i had no idea why my mates were so into(and deluded) about the whole DANCE-NEAR-HOT-GIRL-AND-GRIND-HER-THEN-GET-TO-KNOW-HER-THEN-ASK-FOR-NUMBER
-THEN-SCORE-BIG-TIME-WITH-HOT-GIRL thing. it doesn't happen for everyone just like that! *snaps fingers*. does that mentality scream adolescent or what.
and they failed miserably at it really.

i was left thinking if they hit clubs to practice picking up girls or to truly enjoy, kick back and chillout.

now i won't deny that i went through a phase like that too. had a few drinks too many and thought that i was Orlando Bloom with a bulging wallet. tried hitting on hot ladies on the dance floor or bar counter. didn't go very well i must say. those days are.. glad to say, far behind me.

yeah. its all part of the clubbing scene lah uh. thats understandable really because guys would be guys. they get a little...hmmm.. over-adventurous and hyped up from the atmosphere. but its guys like my mates who give clubbing a bad name.

----------

watched man united's match against AC milan and we got thumped. the single goal advantage didn't even help our confidence a single bit. was really really downcast at the result. what an insult.

and the very next day, my manchester united home jersey arrived in the mail. sigh oh sigh.

why united, why. i dislike wes brown.

lifeno

2007-05-01T02:47:00.001+08:00

Your Life Path Number is 4

Your purpose in life is to build your vision.

You are practical and responsible. You work hard, knowing that there are no shortcuts in life.
You work for a better life for yourself and those you love, but you are not an idealist.
Trustworthy and honest, you also demonstrate great courage. People can count on you.

In love, you are a loyal and committed partner. You are the ideal spouse.

You don't give up easily, and sometimes you can be too stubborn and unwilling to change.
You also can be too conservative at times. You sometime miss out on good opportunities.
Also remember that not everyone can work as hard as you, as disappointing as that is!

What Is Your Life Path Number?

chenhuat

2007-04-28T01:54:00.000+08:00

this convo took place a few days back. it was between Chenhuat and I over JC girls.

----------

(1:45 AM) CED ‡:	no lah. my own research paper
(1:45 AM) CED ‡:	over the years i have come up with various research papers of my own. many are useless
(1:45 AM) CED ‡:	the one above, isnt
(1:47 AM) [JFa] Like a sta:	.. i am a born physcologist.. u shld ask me for advice before u work on ur research..
(1:47 AM) [JFa] Like a sta:	ya.. jcs girls are more intellectual
(1:47 AM) CED ‡:	you spelled psychiatrist/psychologist wrongly...............
(1:47 AM) [JFa] Like a sta:	really ur kind..
(1:47 AM) [JFa] Like a sta:
(1:47 AM) [JFa] Like a sta:	how
(1:47 AM) CED ‡:	hahhahha
(1:47 AM) CED ‡:	contradicting.
(1:47 AM) CED ‡:	funny stuff
(1:47 AM) [JFa] Like a sta:	cant IMGAINE if u are in JCs..

----------

i swear I did not edit anything.

ophelia

2007-04-23T04:35:00.000+08:00

it was Saturday night. actually early Sunday morning.
normal night like any other. biological clock got screwed again. resigned to sleep at 4am in the morning once more.

the strangest dream:

i remember sleeping rather soundly initially. then it all began. a name flashed in my mind. it flickered and blinked repeatedly. i didn't know how to pronounce or pinpoint anything to it.
scene change. i was at the void deck of a hdb block. i don't recall being there before. or have I. there were some people. then there was this girl. the details were shady, but we got to know each other. she was in yellow.

scene change. we were talking. still talking. for a while I thought i saw windows live messenger. we went out and grew closer. we teased one another. it got naughty at one point. plain mindless fun the other. I saw the beach, the sunset, we were on a wave breaker. a true moment of cliche. love is when you have Her warm in your arms, eyes locked in passion and wishing that time would come to a standstill. and nothing else would matter. the world at your feet. finger in finger. how every one of her delicate fingers would find yours. 2 hands went up in unison in a futile attempt to blot out the setting sun. laughs

scene change. she was still in yellow. i had a peek at the back. it reminded me of AC's shirt. i don't know why. it was a shop. we were with friends. people I've never seen before. strange turn of events. some random guy tried landing a kiss on her cheek on his way out of the shop. i was flabbergasted. i flew into a ghastly rage. it was as though the Devil had taken over my mortal self. i made sure with my soul Heaven and Hell heard and felt the pain/anger/shock coursing through my veins/arteries. i woke up in sweat not soaked through but just sweating.

it was 10am on a Sunday morning. i pondered about my dream. it didn't make any sense at all. i stared blankly at the ceiling. i fell back into slumber. i know I did. because she appeared again. this time, the alphabet O flashed.

a lot more random moments. we were still seeing each other. this time I had control over the dream. it felt even more real. we were on a busy street. I could hear excited shrieking emanating. was certain it was from the old woman's mahjong game outside. everything flashed by. i had visions of this and that. picture followed by picture. all foreign to me. she held my hand, looked at me and smiled reassuringly. i could feel her touch i knew i felt her. for the first time i had a clear look at her face. she had dimples. she was petite in build. her hair was jet black and tied into a ponytail. why didn't i notice this before? more random flashes here and there. it was what i never called for. i turned and looked at her. her grip loosened. her smile weakened. she was in considerable pain. she cried a single teardrop of blood.

i woke up. it was 1.13pm on Sunday afternoon. i felt dizzy. sat up in bed for a while. thought to myself and wondered what happened. it felt so so real. i went out, washed up, made tea and returned to the comfort of my room. there was a mahjong game on indeed. i knew i had to do something, not sure what. i reached out and grabbed the post-it pad on the shelf above the monitor. i reached for a black marker in the stationery drawer. i didn't know what,where,when,why,who and how. i took 7 seconds to reflect on my dream. i fetched her name from the abyss and recorded it in black and white.

----------

Ophelia.

nsletter

2007-04-21T02:00:00.000+08:00

what a week. it's special because nothing happened. really

lets try to recap uh...

George returned to his Motherland for a month.
I lost a whole ton of cash to the sister.
Dad agreed that UNSW was a viable choice for further education
ipod skin and abercrombie jacket arrived in the mail.
I RECEIVED MY NS LETTER. damn

----------

sent Parel off on his homecoming. hahaha. had some wild drinking fest the previous night at my place.
cabbed down with Shireen, Eugene, Gaara and our black man himself and i remember the driver being uber unfriendly. asscracker.

airport's changed so much since I was last there. what happened to all the fountains and aquariums!? stewardesses were rather sub-standard. sorry to say. so these are the singaporean ambassadors eh?

there was this shop, C.E.D.S sporting equipment at T2 and they all made me pose in front of it to snap shots. super embarrassing. the sending off wasn't half as bad as I thought. no tears and all that emo stuff. rather happy affair in fact.

headed over to Dad's place for dinner and catching up after that.

----------

the sister is a master manipulator i swear. she went ahead and bought 2 flavors of aromatherapy oils for me. and then made me pay for it. what the. hahaha. the flavors were Peppermint and Eucalyptus. at least she knew what I'd burn and what i would not.

considering how I've been unemployed for a week now and am currently dirt poor, the amount I had to reimburse her was considered rather exorbitant.

and then there was the time when she bought KFC home as well. not some 2 piece meal, mind you but some family feast or something around that scale. smell was heavenly and i succumbed to it la. so $$$ FLY AWAY . i visualized little chicken pieces dancing around my mind chirping EAT ME EAT ME.

----------

made order for some red emo ipod skin (iskandar would be so proud) and a white abercrombie jacket. (contributed to my DIRT POOR status as of current) and they arrived on the same day in the mail.

clumsy me managed to botch the whole application process of the skin and tore the front portion. the back portion went up right though. i know i know. I'm hopeless at the whole delicate-fingers-carefully adjust-position-and-take-note-of-small-imperfections-and-iron-out-flaws THING.

so my black ipod video's left with the clickwheel sticker and the back portion. its alright. still looks emo enough. at least the abercrombie jacket treated me with more respect.

----------

it was April 19th and somewhere around afternoon. was online chatting with Marlon and our good man was at work(still refusing to update his blog though. tak connect)

passed on the website to check NS posting to him. i checked it and it said :
Good evening Mr WEE CHOON KIAT, CEDRIC.
Your enlistment is between June 2007 till November 2007. An enlistment notice will be sent to you two months before your enlistment date. For further enquiries, please call our Call Center at 1800-3676767 or email to us at contact@ns.sg.

he checked his and his date of posting was out. 13th July, Friday, BMTC 2 @ Tekong. letter hasn't yet arrived though. i VAGUELY remember him cursing in caps. i proceeded to laugh out loud at his 'plight'.

then Mindef dropped the bomb on me. came out of the shower at 7pm to see THE GREEN LETTER OF DOOM on my dining table. the woman must have brought the mail in already, i thought.

tore open the letter and there it was. my date and posting location for BMT. saw it coming somehow. but not so soon la!

guess what. 13th of July, Friday, BMTC 2, 11.30am @ Tekong. God does work his magic in the quirkiest of ways. CREEPILY COINCIDENTAL. proceeded to re-check the website and it was there already!

i VIVIDLY remember him laughing out loud at me on msn and this time, i was cursing in caps.

----------

i was scrolling through my old chat logs:

" do you love me because i'm beautiful or am i beautiful because you love me? "

fop07

2007-04-14T13:19:00.000+08:00

i am back. its been quite a week of working. all in the name of money.

IT WAS FUN. IT WAS TIRING. IT WAS MEMORABLE.

it all started on the first day.
----------

Day 1
lotsa stuff moving around. heavy ass stages and platforms. tough coolie labour and not worth the money at all. did a lot of goodie bag packing as well. was told to turn up in jeans.
jeans were soaked through. felt like some chicken simmering in a hot pot inside my clothes. drenched in sweat throughout. never had such a intense 10 hour workout for ages.
wait. make that NEVER BEFORE. i turned up at work that day in a headband. looking as retarded as before. i reacquainted myself with the good ol' slipper.

we are cool!

Day 2
not physically intensive at all. morning was spent with me in agonizing pain from diarrhea since the day before. didn't manage to enjoy learning the dance and cheer at all.
it felt better in the afternoon after a hearty meal. strange, but true. did more goodie bag packing. was really relaxing. made friends with a couple of people there. smuggled many t- shirts back.
iskandar would be proud to tell you all about my exploits. his bag was the main accomplice in crime without him in the knowing. soccer IG girls were hot. cut my hair the day before. re-introduced the mohawk.
as KC would say, "I FEEL SO ME NOW."

a little ragged and out of form. pic was taken after a whole day's work.

Day 3
a mixture of day 1 and day 2. both physically taxing and relaxing at times. day sure had its high and low moments. basically everything on this day was in preparation for the FOP camp on day 4 and day 5.
so much effort being put into it. iskandar and i assigned to School of Health and Wellness. also the day i met up with Chenhuat, Dale and their friend, Fund from workplace. Marilyn as well. girl was there for orientation day 1 and got hopelessly lost.
Melissa would laugh her head off if she reads this. everything also VIRUS, VIRUS, VIRUS!

isk and I were then clearing up Agora Hall 2 and it was strung with litter especially mineral water bottles. (bear in mind that every hall was the size of a normal convention hall)
we were given instructions to get rid of every bottle of mineral that has been opened. but the fuck-care attitude of mine took over my senses really. i ended up tossing every single bottle of mineral water towards the TO THROW pile we amassed. isk was soon at the pile trying to sort out the bottles and separate them into boxes and bags and this conversation took place :

isk : eh ced, this one not opened yet la. why you throw away? keep back la
ced : aiyah. cannot be bothered really. so much trash to clear!
isk : still unopened and full lehhh
ced : [proceeds to break plastic seal and gulps down a huge mouthful of water]
ced : now it's not (:
isk : -_- '''

Day 4
a most enjoyable day although it got a little depressing towards the end. isk and i handled most of the registration work at the SHL booth and eye candies were aplenty. made some new friends of course. I'm friendly. over friendly perhaps. I'm like the kinda guy who does the craziest most retarded stuff out there. isk was both wowed and annoyed by my antics. hahaha. lunch hour was chaotic.
reports were made complaining about worms being found in the food. more slacking around for like up to 4 hours and then intensive area cleaning. debrief hit a new low when one of the temporary staff had a mini stand-off with some OSG guy. tomorrow's work would likely be hell.
some madcap guy from SHL brought mass gainer to the camp.

I KID YOU NOT.

Day 5
most hectic day of the week. day began off late and i made isk wait for me. felt really really bad. did a lot of relocating and moving of stuff and things got really chaotic at times.
it was like the first day except like 2 times worse. had to remove shoes and wade into the pool of mud they call a pitch after lunch and a thunderstorm. made a total of 6 trips to the field and back and re-emerged every time caked in mud smelling like dung.
lunchtime cocked up as well and food got misplaced. no worms this time though. a whole afternoon of more shite work ensued.
party began late due to teething problems and everyone was having fun. we organizers were going wild with the leftover face paint. running around and smearing everyone's faces with it. i got hit rather badly. HAHAHA. music was incredible. people were CRAZY. but with great fun comes great maintenance.
cleaning up work was bad as well. had to wade into mud again to retrieve litter and do general area cleaning. felt even more filthy. debrief was soon up and it was well, brief. bosses thanked everyone and all. the norm. what a touching moment.i made some fantabulous friends there from the other polys.

an award for myself.

----------

a job stint i'm unlikely to forget anytime soon.

uneventful

2007-04-04T12:22:00.000+08:00

what an uneventful week. nothing happened. yeah. nothing

9th of April seems like light years away. and i'm rotting at home. quick 9th of April descend upon me like the Persian Empire. I wouldn't even bother to defend. let alone with 300 men. just take me.

government is wasting my time by making me wait on enlistment. i would call em up in may and ask for early enlistment. dammit.

been gaming and gaming all day long. how very productive we all know. and now the games are running dry. I've completed virtually everything available on the PC GAME market.

good friend Jia flew off to Hongkong today morning. i set my alarm to ring at 5am, wake myself up to wish her bon voyage and then slip back into slumber. hahaha. damn bo liao.

knee

2007-03-29T05:47:00.000+08:00

1.53am : kicked left toenail into exposed wall extension with force. was trying to get around a corner with speed. hurt like hell. bled.

2.15am : busted left knee by uppercutting it against the keyboard tray. was playing RoN online with GJP.

3.41am : busted right knee by ramming it against the bed's wooden frame. was mucking around in darkness looking for something. shite

good

2007-03-26T16:34:00.000+08:00

its been a good week so far really. things have been rosy and if they continue like this, i'll enlist without regrets and even grow to love the army.

okay, maybe no. but yeah. you get the whole point. i'm pretty happy. lets report on what's been turning me up recently;

----------

still not officially employed yet because I don't wanna work in the IT line. and guess what, my only qualification is in IT. sad, but true. HAHA

been doing odd jobs here and there and basically bumming around. playing a lot of soccer recently(my left ankle's giving way already) and drinking far more than I should.

was running after balls few days back with the indianos when these nepalese guys approached for a game. decided to give them a run-out and boy, were they small, fast and tough. all of them played barefooted. totally floored me (literally) and the sensation of your skin grazing against hard rough concrete. hardly pleasurable. i fell on my left side pelvis bone(is it? bio students please correct) and this nepali guy fell on top of me on my side. double the pain. i was in a state of shock at that time. hurt like hell. but i didn't react though(if it was a lowlife mat i would have threw a fist) because the nepalese guys were nice and they had absolutely no intention of causing harm. apologies immediately rang out and yeah. matter solved.

took up Isk's offer on the RP Event. at least there would be a slush fund lah. spending spree coming up after that. applied for position of part-time zookeeper at night safari. hope i get shortlisted man! love working with animals. i know YY would get started on the whole bestiality thing again. asscrack.

rejected a few job offers on the way because i was being picky really. am a slave to money now unfortunately. so no IT trainer, housekeeping @ swissotel and bar @ panpac for me.

----------

kokwee spoke to me the other day and i swear i get annoying sometimes when i reply:

+[TiTus]+ Dreamfall Chapters.... says:
oi ced
CED ; if need be, be a critic of your reflection and not someone's portrayal says:
woah
CED ; if need be, be a critic of your reflection and not someone's portrayal says:
you still alive ah
CED ; if need be, be a critic of your reflection and not someone's portrayal says:
so long never hear from you
+[TiTus]+ Dreamfall Chapters.... says:
fuck lah

HAHAHA. the man's my sec sch sit-beside-me buddy lah. amazing guy who sleeps in class with his eyes wide open. we fought, bickered and fought again. and still good friends today. ha

approached this girl on friendster because of her name. it read H-E-O-N.
i messaged and went :" hello(: is it pronounced hay-en or hee-en?"
i was so friggin' surprised she even bothered to reply with :" it´s hee-en. but most ppl pronounce it as hee-on so i keep it tt way. "

I THANK YOU. WAHAHA. I GET BORED I KNOW.

----------

everyone's been doing this retarded IQ quiz that Tat started on I think. so i decided to jump on the retarded bandwagon as well. lets see;

----------

WOO

300

2007-03-20T23:36:00.000+08:00

alright. so 300 was released and everyone flocked to watch it. and then after watching it, everyone got really inspired by Leonidas and started having quotes from the movie up on their msn nicks.

same thing happened when Troy and Alexander premiered. both aforementioned shows sucked big time though.

you know how you watch those historical warfare flicks and get that heavy surging feeling in your chest. makes you wanna stand up and die for Singapore. yeah

cannot stand it when people go on and on , rambling facts and names from the movie and even try to correct you and then appear shell-shocked when you tell them it was based on an actual event.

you know those history idiots who only go read up on that particular conflict or battle when someone makes a blockbuster on it.

----------

i particularly liked 300 because:

1) it is 90% historically correct. every detail in the movie happened back in 480BC at the Battle of Thermopylae. and it was true to the comic book as well.

2) Gerard Butler put in a stellar performance in the role of King Leonidas. couldn't recognise him from Phantom of the Opera(2004)

3) the Immortals were aptly played out. good,solid soldiers, but nevertheless still human.

4) the immense size and scale of the invading Persian army was accurately depicted. from the Sparabaras to the Persian Companions. didn't like the rhinos though. what the heck?

5) Lena Headey was smokin' hot as Queen Gorgo. MILF MILF MILF.

----------

was at CWP today for some light shopping here and there. the cash registers of John Little were where the bulk of my money ended up in.

KFC for dinner and i saw Yueyin & friends. some of them look really familiar. like I've seen them somewhere before. in Genevieve's friendster pictures or what i think.

and KFC was packed. expected that. i got rather incensed and yet amused at the same time because there was this fella reserving a 4 man table with a GIORDANO PLASTIC BAG WITH A PINK TOP INSIDE. and i let my mouth slip again by commenting loudly to the guys:

" WAW MAN. YOU CAN ACTUALLY RESERVE A TABLE WITH A PLASTIC BAG MAN. I'M REALLY AMAZED.FIRST IT WAS A PACKET OF TISSUE, THEN PLASTIC BAG. WHAT NEXT? TAMPONS OR CONDOMS?"

didn't realize that the fella was actually standing right behind me somewhere near the queue counters. HAHAHA. to be honest, couldn't be bothered really, I told Gaara.

you know. don't take any shit and give em' back double.

we ended up taking the table right next to the guy. and his minah girlfriend arrived. chinese fella too. multi-racial. sure reminded me of a good friend back in polytechnic.

----------

the chicken at KFC woodlands not nice though. too much oil. can literally bite into a chunk of gelatinous-like oil.

graduation ceremony

2007-03-14T20:47:00.000+08:00

graduation ceremony was on the 13th and all i remembered from that day were photos and more photos. I must have taken up to 250 pictures i think. didn't actually count them though

would have to return the camera to a certain good friend of mine and SHE would have to cope with the arduous back-breaking task of transferring them to her comp and then passing 'em to me via portable HDD. god bless.

i felt like a superstar on that day man. sooooo many photo requests minus the autographs.

----------

first up, i gotta declare that my dad's one awesome parent.
postponed his trip to attend my graduation ceremony and driving up from Katong at like 7am and promptly getting himself lost in Woodlands. then he ranted that my block's a chore to find. HAHAHA.

close friends would know my parental situation. so i was really proud that he took the trouble to attend. the look in his eyes truly touched and warmed my heart. and like every other (over)enthusiastic parent present then, he obviously saw the need to take as many photos as possible and display them on his handphone's wallpaper. had to repeatedly reinforce my claim that I BORROWED A CAMERA TO TAKE PICTURES to him

some friends commented that in terms of appearance, I'm a chip off the old block. i couldn't find any reason to disagree.

the ceremony itself was rather uhhhh.... bladder wrenching i shall say.

it took like forever to reach the turn of us DIT people and i never realized we had so many SEG people. some with really bombastic names.

we weren't allowed to pay a visit to the humble ol' water closet during the long wait and I experienced a sensation likened to a reverse orgasm. YEAH. especially when my surname starts with W. all the way behind.

the moment soon dawned upon and it was my turn to march up stage to receive that all important piece of paper after 3 years of polytechnic education. WOW. WHAT A MOMENT IT WAS REALLY. WAS BOTH A MOMENT OF POWER AND PAIN.

we all know where the pain came from. darted for the toilet immediately after receiving my diploma along with Angeline and was stopped by two student ambassadors. assholes. was told to return to my seat and wait till the end of the ceremony.

few wise words into open eardrums and out the other end swiftly followed and then it all ended.

the cam-whoring soon started on a massive scale.

----------

a whole evening of rest and the celebrations resumed at town and then Changi Village for makan with friends.

YY got all excited at spotting his colleagues there doing their rounds.

Changi Beach's certainly a place I wouldn't wanna be stuck at alone after dark. Dexun was petrified and we all rubbed it in. everyone chipped in with supernatural experiences. poor guy gets spooked by the slightest tremors and sounds and was probably close to tears.

even the girls were entertained by his antics. we should have girls in the commandos man.

cracked all sorts of nonsensical jokes. most of which do not make sense. haven laughed like that for quite a while. sometimes i really think I'm too tensed up and stiff la. always unwilling to adopt that "cock loose and lawsuit free" attitude.

would do me good to just let go of things in the past, appreciate what Life has in store for us and move on.

after last night, i made a resolution to get my driving license. and I would fulfill it.

----------

I NEED TO WORK.

ancienadieu10thmarch

2007-03-11T17:09:00.000+08:00

Ancien Adieu went rather sucky really. and it was like a prom unlike any other prom.

everyone was decked out in their finest though and I couldn't recognise some people initially.

was a whole fashion parade of masks, blazers, heels, flashy tops and makeup and some people turned up looking waaaaaaaaaay overdressed. felt like a trip down the Night Safari.

what to do, poly people are funny i think. interesting really to see mats trying really hard to achieve that I-AM-IN-A-BLACK-BLAZER-BENEATH-A-REALLY-BLINGBLING-MASK-AND-I-LOOK-COOL-AND-
MYSTERIOUS look

lets not forget the cheenafied folk trying even harder! to etch out that I-AM-DECKED-OUT-IN-WHITE/BLACK BLAZER/GOWN-WITH-A-LOT-OF-SEQUINS-AND-DETAILS-AND-I-AM-JAY CHOU/JOLIN TSAI-TONIGHT look.

for fucks sake, its held at TRCC. not so glamorous hotel and even our finest hotels wouldn't exactly warrant that amount of overdressing.

----------

RP got this gambling company to come in with their gambling chips, equipment and hardware along with croupiers and the peacocks went high splashing their chips. I remember Victor winning big at the tables. HAHA. took quite a bit of persuasion to drag him off to take pictures

" WOAH. RP IS AN EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTE AND THEY DON'T PROMOTE THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL WITHIN ITS PREMISES, BUT GAMBLING IS FINE BECAUSE THE INTEGRATED RESORT IS COMING UP AND WOULD PROVIDE JOBS FOR POTENTIAL DIPLOMA GRADUATES. "
-Ced to YY

the food was from the Four-Seasons Hotel and it was great stuff. except for the Pineapple rice which tasted like rocks. I didn't manage to eat a lot though. spent most of time posing and smiling. and then more pictures

would have to go around asking everyone for pictures now. I can only vaguely remember who I took with and who I didn't take with.

the auctions held later in the night cracked me up because they were people bidding for items waaaaaay past their market shelf price without realizing it. it was evident that some people have never been to an auction in their entire lifetime before.

----------

cabbed back home shortly with YY to deposit the bling and heavy items before cabbing down to Clarke Quay for makan and The Clinic.

fun started there and Victor got really high. i don't know why really. that guy got the whole party mood going.

YY's dance moves were a marvel to behold. George and I tried our best to emulate them to no avail.

the girls weren't too big on the whole dancing thing though and they mostly sat quietly in the corner.

Funny enough to see those normally quiet, proper and serious types boogieing away. people like Shuan and Eric were great. even Iskandar looked like he's having fun. I don't know how though. HAHA

I can vaguely remember drinking quite a lot and topped it all with a Graveyard. those buggers decided to leave after I just got into the mood to dance. dang

took the NR2 home and it took like forever to come. almost considered a cab again. then i told myself i was broke. (lie). the walk from the bus stop to my block felt like a forever 1.5km. If anyone from the blocks saw a guy in a brown blazer swaying from one side of the pavement to another, there is no cause for concern. I'm pretty harmless.

----------

i realized. not good to blog while stifling a slight hangover.

ancienadieu

2007-03-10T16:53:00.000+08:00

ANCIEN ADIEU is tonight !!!

graduation

2007-03-05T23:07:00.000+08:00

I am cleared for graduation. settled all outstanding bills and such after a long day in school today and its all good really.

appeal got approved as well and my grades are carrying me through. just a little disappointed to see my GPA drop from the final semester of school. no one else to blame but myself in not working hard and messing around.

skipping classes and procrastination played a big part in the downfall of my grades.

suffered a little scare last night as I missed the date to register for graduation ceremony by 15 minutes. promptly proceeded to email Office of Student Affairs and they benevolently allowed me to attend. I AM GRATEFUL.

collected the graduation gown as well and i swear it makes me look like a flasher. not good.

----------

tinge of sadness for those who didn't do well at the big As.

there were people who wept because they didn't get their triple As

and also people who wept because they could go nowhere with their current set of results.
my heart goes out to the latter. because i was in such a predicament before as well.

the feeling of not knowing what lies ahead for you and yet venturing forward, probing around in darkness. scary thoughts ain't it.

i thank RP for plucking me from the wilderness. sincerely

and there I was complaining and whining in year 2 that I should never had entered polytechnic. HAHA
true, I am still no big fan of polytechnics. but am grateful for the chance RP offered.

or maybe because the thought of doing 3 years for an A levels cert at MI was simply unthinkable.
lets not even talk about the canteen food and stalls.

----------

have yet to receive letter of enlistment as well. and i wanna go in early!

gotta look for a job now man. sad case. but i need the money. really badly.

job lobangs, anyone?

alcohol

2007-02-28T09:06:00.000+08:00

W H I T E P E O N Y <3 says:
May God Grant You The Serenity To Accept Things You Cannot Change

W H I T E P E O N Y <3 says:
The Courage To Change Those You Can

W H I T E P E O N Y <3 says:
And The Wisdom To Know The Difference

----------

thank you, reb.

feb28

2007-02-27T16:42:00.000+08:00

i didnt realize that this year was a leap year. and thought to myself HMMMM, its still only Feb 27

my friendly computer clock soon pointed me in the right direction. and if its the end of the month, it would mean that Dad's allowance would come trickling in. i think.

and... results would be released on Mar 1. woo. rather anxious i must say. theres this air of uncertainty man. but well, we'll hope for the best.

I've never been known to think optimistically.

A levels results coming out on the day after that. the JC peeps are already freaking out. quite classic to see the reactions. the news instantly went on the MSN nicks of every junior college denizen. enthu

----------

soccer with George and his Indian mates was fun as well. we were madcaps running around topless at like. 3am in the morning after a single white ball. and everything was in Tamil. I had to rely on hand signals and basic verbal skills to play my game. hahaha. but it all turned out great. because those guys were really nice people i must say.

was running around like some headless chicken in the first few matches. hardly got a touch of the ball and ran in all the wrong directions. communication breakdown. but gradually i got acclimated to the environment and the goals began to flow.

got a little chuffed at times when some of them went for the jugular and rocketed the ball when a better option would be to pass it. but things like that happen i guess. get on and over it.

----------

and I just realized that a certain person deleted me off Friendster as well. I was doing friend list maintenance and downsizing the list. proud to say its now down to 397 from 491.

and this certain person used to be on the first page of the list. I checked the first page and all other pages and he wasn't there anymore. and I'm pretty darn sure that I didn't delete him in a subconscious state. no reason to at all.

its already fucking childish when you delete and block a person from MSN without first making an effort to or allowing another person to explain the situation. even girls don't do that. shallow and superficial.

and then hide in a hole or behind a friend when you are confronted to clear the air. goes to show how much of a man you really are. measure of a man. I think that guys and especially those at our age shouldn't be behaving like that.

I don't have a habit of publicizing my private matters really. but some things seriously irk me. you tell everyone that its my fault in the whole matter, then proceed to block and delete me off MSN. I wanted to know exactly what injustice I did you and you refused to stand face to face and talk things out on the grounds that you thought me inferior to speak to the likes of you. Now I think I know what you are unhappy about already, but you still refuse to talk face to face.

I have never been an unreasonable or malevolent person by nature. I sought you out not to pick a fight, but solely to talk. and even that you deny me of. I wanted simply to know why you were so angry and I would offer my explanation. if I was really wrong, then I would apologize for my behavior on your terms. I don't pick fights. but i would defend myself if the need arises.

if you are reading this and you decide to finally meet up and talk face to face like a man, I'm always available. just tell me the time and place.

and I'll come alone. no extra baggage.

cny07

2007-02-20T01:28:00.000+08:00

its CNY again. woohooo. yo ah yo.

and boy were the days leading up to it chocked full of nonsense and pure fun.

found myself at town ever so often and blowing money on bloody unscrupulous merchants. damn those Chinese corporations.

at the rate im blowing money, me Dad would be so proud. I can so see him imposing a financial curfew on me with a smile on his face. wry sense of humor.

----------

you know you love it when CNY swings around the korner again and theres all sorts of sweetmeats to savour.

pigging out has never felt so good especially for me. GOD if theres anything i love more than sex in this world(sad, i don't get laid in the first month unfortunately.) , ITS FOOD.

and BAK KWA is still a traditional chinese delicacy. its the only PORK product i shove down my throat. figured that any tapeworm or bacteria in there would be long dead from the grill.

it was rather torrid leading up to CNY though. i had diarrhoea and then constipation for like 15 days. truly the best of both worlds. who am I to complain really. but it felt like a fifth dimensional multiple orgasm when I recovered just before CNY's eve popped around. all that talking about food is making me hungry.

angbao collection has been decent and the well wishes...uhmm. well appreciated i shall say.
its like some downward spiral graph. the older you get, the less angbao money you receive.

didn't go down to paternal side as I figured the mother and sister would be heading down. and complications would erupt indefinitely. already sent the paternal folks my blessings through phonecalls and smses.

----------

maternal side was today though. the same ol' cheena canto-piang stuff as always.

I get kicks from the free liquor all around. and messing around with the little cousins.

my favorite cousin's now a hip hopper who goes YO ME COUZIN CEDRIC, WHASSUP DUDE. HOWZIT GOING MY MAN? I 'YAM ZE KOOL YA DIG?!. someone tell the boy he's still only primary 5.

sighhh. haha. hate the posing, love the cousin.

the rest of them cousins around my age are either low down paikias, Jay Chou advocates or members of the PINK KAWAII-NEH CLUB de TOKYO. we get along really well though. can like sit down at one korner then KAWAII and KANINA the day away.

----------

then i got shite bored and decided to mess around with some pictures. came up with this in 10 minutes. lets see :

KILL.

rp

2007-02-12T22:52:00.000+08:00

its the last day of school. last day of poly life. last day for everything.

its all good. except that I'm down with diarrhoea and have been for the past week. what a way to end polytechnic life.

feeling weak and feeble all over now. a gust of wind can probably topple me now. i wouldn't like to try.

must have been the murtabak at Banquet CWP.

----------

It was after soccer on Friday and we were headed for dinner after a splash in the school pool. Fhai got us all entertained in the lift up to Banquet. It was just our group and these 3 secondary school girls. Our mat friend tapped the shoulders of one of the girls and pointed to Iskandar :

" my friend here says that you are cute."

and they burst out laughing. so did all of us. i commented that must have been the funniest thing i heard all day. Victor shot back with:

"Ced, you are the funniest thing I've seen all day."

stupid girls were still wondering at that stage if we all knew each other or were just passing strangers in the same lift. but the whole thing cracked me up real good. the audacity! should have been there to witness the whole series of events unfolding. HAHAHA

----------

just arrived back from Dad's place and my old man was really overreacting. claimed that diarrhoea can lead to severe dehydration and eventually kill me. fussed all over me like a kid and i got rather irritated because IT Whiz was on and the episode's feature was on RP.

Yeah. LiewBengKeat was on and so was SeowKheeWei along with other RP facilitators. it got pretty funny to an extent because Dr. Liew got so stiff on TV. damn professional la i must say. give the man a buritto. he knows his job!

managed to keep the father quiet by agreeing to some pills offered by him. carbon pills they were. mentioned that I should'nt take too much of it or ill suffer from constipation instead.

at that point I wondered if I was better off feeling constipated or dehydrated from diarrhoea. fantastic thoughts.

----------

bus ride back up to Woodlands was long and boring. 'cept for this old malay guy who was gesticulating wildly and annoying the hell out of the other passengers.

the guy had his eyes closed and his arms flew wildly around him. made huge actions with his hands and attempted to make conversation across the aisle with other passengers. should have seen the faces of some of the ladies. totally freaked out.

sure looked like a seance. i was sleeping and was jolted awake. not by the madcap pakcik, but by sleeping in a gangly manner, swaying about and almost collapsing onto the floor. made decision to not sleep and watch madcap pakcik in action.

awesome people we have around.

is an infidel.

soccer

2007-02-04T01:05:00.000+08:00

i swear soccer at school can get really addictive. had a kick-about at the open field outside the unopened new canteen and as far as i know, i'm allergic to grass.

yah. suffering now. grass causes rash and all sorts of itching sensations to appear on my limbs.

but important thing was having fun i think. most proud of my achievement where i got the better of George THRICE. are you reading this, GJP ? hahaha

but our man had his revenge by scoring through my legs with a tame effort. ARGH. should have worn a sarong.

lotsa running and physical play involved. soccer makes a good workout. i think i get very vocal when i kick balls around. always shouting and getting crude.

one of the guys should probably come up and shut me up. but its annoying when people insist on playing like some superstar they aren't and end up losing the ball and then causing a deficit.

soccer's a passing game la. i know i go on and on.

----------

been rather unproductive at home too. been finding myself in the room gaming almost everyday away. not very productive.

but the thought of going out and spending money is a big deterrent. should start planning trips that are fun, cheap and possibly educational. thoughts of Pulau Ubin stream back in.

maybe fishing and crabbing might do good. biking too. wouldn't mind more soccer though.

----------

couple of birthdays this week as well.

birthday congrats go out to Melissa, Rebecca and Saw. all a year older now and hopefully wiser.

we are all growing up fast even when we don't want to.

i can so visualize myself in camo green and black at this time of next year. rather depressing.

and Valentine's Day is creeping up on us too. i look back at the past two years and i thank you for everything you were and gave. first time in two years alone and it feels somewhat. vacuous.

felt like so much has happened.....

first the perfume at the bus stop. it was rather uncertain, but you still smiled, that smile lit up every single morning of mine. you never knew that, or did you? i couldn't walk you up as I was rushing to board the bus to travel 1hr 30 mins down to school. but tried to recompense by promising to call later at night. I didn't. I'm sorry. Must have felt really empty at school amidst all the couples. I felt it and was powerless. I knew you were hurt. It pricked me.

a year passed and the big day was around the corner again. i remembered this day for the bouquet of flowers. i woke up early, ponned school, surprised you with the bouquet, then walked you to school. your bemused reaction followed by the 'awwwwwwwwww' drew a wide beam on my face. i must have looked like an idiot grinning from side to side. your friends were there, you didn't seem to be bothered by their jibes. yes, 5 red and 1 pink. i remembered. its what every lady deserved on V-Day and especially such a beautiful one shouldn't be caught dead in school without the saccharine accompaniment of roses, i said. you said it was corny.

am overwhelmed by emotions now. but the tears simply won't flow again. wouldn't it have been better if I could just cry and wash all that pain down the gutter. just as you did.

I'm picking up the pieces and moving on.

thank you.

finish.

2007-01-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT FYP IS DONE AND OVER WITH.

god bless my grades now. thats all i can hope for.

realized that I have been talking about God so much lately. I'm actually agnostic.

not gonna dwell on that. but now i feel really light. i can practically float. i go to school every morning now feeling open. no more late nights (its beginning to sound like a WHISPER ULTRA tampon ad). thats how poly life should be. HAHA

best of luck to those who have yet to present. i wore white for presentation(yet again)

no shirt to wear. someone donate please. and my hair was looking terrible. gimme a blue vest and yellow hardhat and i would look like your typical CHINA-RIAN worker.

no, Admiral KC Lim in the middle is NOT my fyp teammate.

----------

laughed my balls off when good maroon friend of mine unknowingly left his IPAQ on the cab that morning.

some indian auntie from COMFORT called up in the afternoon and asked for ADMIRAL KC LIM. (add indian accent and all), saying that the honest cabbie returned the IPAQ.

ADMIRAL was only there for posterity, but it ended up incorporated into his name. must have felt damn shiok to be called ADMIRAL uh. lucky that the IPAQ doesnt have KC' OH MIGHT FUCKER on it.

mama must have thought that ADMIRAL was part of his name or something. OH LORD ALMIGHTY.

because of this incident, i am gonna have CEDISTIFICATION emblazoned proudly across my iPod video. lets see/hear Mama take a shot at pronouncing that. WUAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

"ELLOO, CAN I ERHH.. SPEEEEEEK TO C-E-D-I-S-T-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N" -mama

----------

four

2007-01-18T19:42:00.000+08:00

Today was actually supposed to be FYP submission date. but it got postponed to the 22nd. Blessed, maybe?

just 4 more days and i am fearing for my life. 4 more days to D-Day. cold sweat streams down my palms as I type this.

never been this... hmmmm. intimidated before. not before hockey finals in pri sch, not before PSLE, not before O lvls, not before first day of poly, not before making my speech at polyforum.

I realized that a lot rests on my shoulders. im made to carry so much and let go of so little. yeah, main compiler of the project and whether everything goes boom or bust depends on my main webbie.

never acknowledged that i was good in programming. not dHTML or XML too. but im trying. i want to get out of RP.

know of some people who quit school because of FYP. poor amanda and her team. 3 man team originally and 2 members quit school leaving only her left. sad.

you see me smiling and beaming on the outside. but thats only a facade. the happiest people are the most tormented inside. not the first time i've mentioned this i know. some people never find out who really is the real you. they dig, they decipher and they think they know a person inside out. laughable. self-appreciation overdose.

there comes a time when you feel empty. no room for emo, no space for the world. wrist slitting so yesterday.

it all gets a little tired after a while. let rest.

----------

you know how you hold back something for far too long, wanting never to let it go simply because of selfishness. trying to tell the world how time would prove. begging for a speck at the end of the tunnel. it all made sense then. then one day you wake up and find that every thing's just that. nothing is ever gonna happen. you ask yourself questions. the mind commands the loosening of the grip. you let it go suddenly. never saw what's coming. the consequences are really quite severe. the never ending trials roll. the torment eviscerates. deeper and darker until you lose your way in darkness. feebly hanging on for dear life. have mercy, countess.

fyp 2

2007-01-09T23:44:00.000+08:00

FYP is getting on my nerves. just 8 more days to submission.

just the mention of those 3 alphabets is enough to make me cringe.

hasn't exactly been a good week for me. the bout of diarrhoea weakened me. i lost 3kg. thats a lot of shit, no joke.

hard times. but i must persevere. not let personal matters affect my judgment and work.

i thank you guys for expressing care and concern. ill be fine.
----------

saw Jia in the canteen and she asked :" how are you feeling? "

i was momentarily stumped for an appropriate answer. think i ended up mustering a weak smile or something.

this encounter was on my mind the entire day.

----------

everyone in third year's getting predictable now. the below scenario would be replayed daily over and over again. read on

Friend : eh ced, hello man
Me : aye man, tired uh ?
Friend : yeah la. stressed. tired. sian la
Friend : How's FYP ?
Me : NA#$^#$BEI#$&#$PUA#$&#TUR#$&#&BINE !

EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THIRD YEAR WOULD DEFINITELY ASK ABOUT FYP. I GET SO TIRED OF ANSWERING THAT QUESTION. AND AFTER SUBMISSION, THEY WOULD ASK WHO YOUR EVALUATORS ARE.

SUPER IRRITATING. SUPER ANNOYING. HOW ORIGINAL CAN PEOPLE GET.

2007

2007-01-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

a new year. i wonder why people bother with making new year resolutions really.

our race is one of procrastination. promises are often made and broken.

no one really knows the true meaning of a PROMISE anymore. the only resolution i made was to not get wasted so often and PUKE. that, unfortunately... oh well. you get the idea.

glad that most people are adequately pleased with my thank-you list for 2006. if i stepped on any toes, i am NOT sorry about it and you can fetch an apology from my dog. you cant handle the truth. HAHAHA

quite a big year this one is. so many things gonna happen. sometimes i shudder at that thought.possibilities aplenty.

----------

drunk and puked on NYE @ Paulaner. got quite high and everyone was happy.

well, Trevor certainly went shutter happy. thats one happy man right there Beer was good, music fine and atmosphere awesome. can literally blow you away. wallet went in quite heavy and left feeling refreshingly light. i wonder why/ so drink, drank and then drunk.

i got floored by a Jamilahistic blow from a certain Andrea. wasnt a nice feeling at all. particularly if your senses are all numb and you can even ask what you are doing flat on the ground. the spectators weren't amused.

a picture seems to tell a thousand words.

i swear i would doodle 2 cartoon characters on the next time i am required to write a 2000 word essay.

the best looking picture of us from that night of partying. yeah, its good because our faces cant be seen. we look like dinosaurs i think. Jamilasaurus Rex.

----------

just returned from a sec sch gathering. good to see that everyone's changed. some for the worse. some have aged prematurely. white hair even and its natural. some still doing nothing with their lives. still paikia, throwing their future away. some in army, some back from overseas. some are still jokers though. i know for sure i still haven't lost my sense of humour.

its still rather dry and i still tend to rub people the wrong way. but thats me i think. made everyone life with my antics. and of course no gathering would be complete without old friends getting together and reminiscing about old times.

bullying teachers, fights, BGR, skipping classes, short circuiting science labs, hitting on teachers, sleeping in class, altering uniforms, cheating during exams..... and my fellows can really cheat la.

openly passing papers around and when submission time was up, no one could find their own papers. how we talked back to teachers. like shouting insults across the classroom and challenging teachers to fights. hitting on the pretty ones. stealing condoms from 7-11 and experimenting with it in the toilet.

my uniform was never tucked in at the back because i thought it made me look taller. hahaha. and despite DAILY warnings from the same teacher, it was still out and waving gloriously in the air. sleeping in class with eyes open, secret hand signals and maneuvers.

and how everyone in Express stream more or less knew each other. every time a birthday song was heard, guys from all 4 express classes would automatically mobilize and hantam the birthday boy. no one was spared.

GOOD TIMES LA. unless you were the class ahguah who got picked on everyday. haha.

----------

2006ends

2006-12-31T12:50:00.000+08:00

The very last entry of year 2006 and i look back. reflect maybe. what a year it has been

gee. where do i start... haha. writers block really. aww man. i shall dedicate this entry to the wonderful F word perhaps. FRIENDS, it is. short entry on significant people who have changed my life.

am trying to visualize a list now and careful not to leave any crucial person out.

think thank thunk. and i think i have my list. shall add to it as i go.

and without further ADO...

----------

Elizabeth :
still gorgeous, still sexy, still a darling you are. i thank you every year, a prayer for you always. the one girl who changed my life and turned me around 360 degrees. i guess words don't clearly express how I feel about you. immense level of gratitude owed to. hmmmm, always there for me through ups and down
and lend a listening ear and perhaps more than just one. constantly putting up with my nonsense and tahan-ing all the crap i throw in your direction. one great friend, one great girl. no people, she's not my girlfriend (:

Azri :
good man you are. always sticking by your principles and someone ill seek out when I'm running around headless. we go waaaay back in time and there for each other through thick and thin. crappy mates we were and still are and although we don't meet up that often now, i wanna say that you are remembered lah ok. mat kia and a very special one indeed. cheap and constantly economical and not just about the truth. times at NTUC were great. would always reminiscence and laugh out loud.

Jayina :
how could i ever leave you out uhh? dotdotdongblurblurouchouch. funny how we met each other back at FOP and didnt even talk to one another till almost a year later. the one testimonial that changed everything. glad you wrote it and i replied and things just hit off. you are uhhh, funny(severe understatement) ,crappy and urhh, love messin around with pictures. we talk and talk and talk on late night MSN and so many stuff were thrown in different directions. one of the Ones out there i can have a good heart-to-heart talk with.

Marlon :
goodness me, 'tis been a darn long time since we last spoke to one another and your blog badly needs an update. haha. greatest pal back then where we did almost everything together. short and little tots we were then all the way till sec 4 and our mad clique activities. staples, erasers and pencil lead. it all started from sec 1D. would always remember the times we had back at WDL and the major falling out during Sec 2. HAHAHA. the times at jetty, near life-and-death experiences, late night biking and heart talks.

Rebecca :
that message took me a whole month to process and write and I was so glad and relieved it came off right. our first true conversation was like whoa and everything just came out. time flies, we have changed and you are still about as passionate about Life as it is. always challenging and constantly seeking to improve yourself. all about rediscovering passion i shall say. beauty and brains personified and your words always, ALWAYS inspire me. thank you reb. and yeah, a smile's a curve that sets everything straight. (:

Hakim :
what can i say, bigboy? local mat hero who inspires everyone. sometimes you annoy the shit out of me i must admit and i feel like shoving a C4 up your ass. and yet sometimes you are a fantastic listener. ideas don't always work though. cafe cartel brought the best out of our friendship i think and the events there still make me chuckle. a good man, a thinking one. good looking and i ain't bullshitting. HAHA

Gwendolyn Han :
best cafe cartel waitress you are. let the past lie buried. thank you. one intelligent girl you are. very witty and occasionally sarcastic. sometimes a little bimbotic and don't you dare deny. great friend you are. never fails to amaze me sometimes. haha, pretty obscure taste in music though. cannot stand abu hakim and the cooks. black betty and dresden dolls. always looking damn dao till spoken to. hope NUS has been good to you. we love horticulture. HAHA

Jonathan Chua :
how could I ever leave you out. jonnyboy53 and please get the FYP done, you shall. got to know you in Year 3 Sem 1 and i regret it. HAHAHA. why god, Emperor wasn't with me. good times we had, bad times too. so much has been said and done. gaming and more gaming. good friend you have been, please continue to be one. blazers do not belong in a hot afternoon @ Orchard. get laid we all shall

Genevieve :
the innova girl and your blog still captivates me like hell. always adorable and with a ready smile. never once regretted getting to know you. good times, tough times, you tide through em all. one strong person you are. majority of our conversations have been limited to green and blue/brownish font. you are good company online and never failing to inject a dose of bimbotism.

K.C :
i come to this section and theres so much to write. i shall briefly summarize. fantastic friend you are, always steady and occasionally deranged. drink and drink to life. I LIKE TO DRINK. hates kids, crushes infidels. GPMG in a crowded train. ahgua though, -/10 resistance to cold. sex on a stick with hair you are. importance of profanities explained. talented musician you are and i never have or would understand the mucho profound world of music, but you come across like WHOA to me. you owe me money.

Lappie :
another true friend you are. always HELLO FRIEND me and i would know what's coming my way. you have matured so much since MAD. still bimbotic though. you are so much stronger now and i am glad. still maintaining the aura of mystery about you and of course, constantly involved in a struggle with life. thank you for listening always and attempting to cheer up the perpetually emo me.

George :
mr. Beanie. very artsy person, always about the design thing. always winning competitions i have never even heard of. amazing wits about this guy. very supportive and perpetually busy with work. intelligent person who is both confident and headstrong in beliefs. sometimes your optimism really gets to me and yet sometimes, i look towards it to pull myself up. my computer loves you. woo

Melissa Loh :
i got to know you through your younger sis and that was embarrassing. haha, never thought our friendship would come so far though. we don't always talk, but know that we have each other's back in times of need. unsung friend you are. makes me laugh sometimes along with Shandy the great. RP changed you so much, told you not to come already. i love your chinese name still.

YongYeow :
almost left you out you know. but didnt. my quiet friend, always in the shadows and silently aiding and without asking for anything in return. a truly good man with a golden heart. can get rowdy when the need arises. a very stable friend who never lets anyone down. knowledgeable person who knows how to work around difficulties. great thinker and do-er as well. tough times you have endured, keep on going friend.

----------

here it ENDS. and the one resounding question on the minds of people who just read the entry.

YEAH. I KNOW. (:

----------

xyn.

icipod

2006-12-24T01:47:00.000+08:00

just when all seemed like its going downhill, God had his way and things began to turn around. im glad. honestly

----------

lost my IC at Cineleisure pool and only realized my folly on Thursday @ MOS.

was asked to produce IC and i couldn't find mine. HAHA. still got in via EZ-LINK card though

but the IC issue was a real mood dampener. and i don't often lose things. so it really got to me i guess

MOS, once again wasn't at all that fantastic. never enjoyed MOS. sorry mel, i had to rant

i saw the MOS pledge and i had a rebuttal for every single line. so hit me.

----------

purchased my ipod video 30gb Black. major year end purchase. joining the legions of evangelists i think.

Creative and particularly SIM WONG HOO, you let me down. 2 Creative players before and both died on me. muthaforkens.

got quite a good deal @ SimLim though. it sure paid off to do some recon work before leaping into a purchase.

think ill be tinkering with the iPod for quite some time. fascinated with technology and I'm quite a gadget person too. WOOOO

probably wont sleep tonight.

----------

The IC was recovered at... guess where ?

Cineleisure pool. i went back and talked to them about it. this drawer was opened and like WOW. there was this huge stack of ICs and EZ-LINK cards there all neatly bundled together.

had to confirm my identity with my EZ-LINK before they let me have my IC. like what the.. HAHA

and worse, my IC's photo looked totally different from my EZ-LINK card's

so there were some doubts here and there and when i reached out my arm( to point out the similarities), the ah lian at the counter would pull my IC back defensively. hilarious lah

began to ask me some questions though and I thought it was so retarded. asked for address even and if i have shifted house before(i have, thus my old address was covered by a green sticker bearing my new address)

so this went on for quite a while. but the ah lian got no sense of humour really. hahaha.

she had to consult with the Lao Beng at the corner having his lunch for like god-knows-how-many-times before eventually handing it over.
but I'm thankful really. Ill love my IC like nothing from now onwards.

----------

would change blog layout soon. opting for white background

less emo, more classy

later kena called EMO POET how?

not nice siak.

PANICKY GIRLFRIEND.

swim

2006-12-16T10:03:00.000+08:00

week's been awesome. and so has my skin.

i now fully realize the importance of sunblock lotion. or rather, the lack of it.

now here's a sum up.

cab down to yishun for idle chat : $9.30
entry fee into SAFRA : $3.00
getting sunburnt and feel shitty all weekend : F*CKING PRICELESS, BABY. \m/

----------

the swim went well and all i thought. haven been doing much exercise(unlike a certain fitness buff friend)

so the swim was definitely welcome. opportunity to flex some muscle and relieve old swimming memories.

only complaint was that there really weren't anything worth ogling there. but what can we expect in SAFRA anyways.

i stubbed my big toe and simply shrugged it off. regretting it badly now. last i checked, the top nail was in danger of getting displaced

and absent minded me actually forgot to bring a TOWEL. incredible really because i hit home from the idle chat around 8.30 and decided to get everything in order. packed first and made a mental checklist on what to shove into the ghey cloth bag. pretty apparent that the humble ol' TOWEL wasn't amongst them.

GAWD, im getting old and pretty soon enough, ill forget to zip up and walk around with my pecker hanging out. yes liz, your msn nick played a big part. so thank you

----------

slush fund from Dad and Aunt was awesome. i now have more money to splash on stuff (read: completely useless and mundane nonsense) and feel happy while doing so.

see Christmas to me is this period where i get spending and swiping crazy/happy. always in doubt of the effects of retail therapy before i personally realized what effect it had on me.

so trevor, be as kind as your heart is warm (very familiar. dunno lift from where one ) , let us go buy more stuff. HAHA

----------

and yeah, FYP's having an adverse effect on my morale.

i now feel as if some random unknown Wizard wannabe casted FEAR on me and while i was running to the edge of the map to get stuck in some mountain face, a PaleMaster ambushed me and summoned a whole bunch of UNDEAD SKELLIES to kick my arse and generally make me feel horrible because i simply cannot fight off a bunch of em' vile creatures.

but really, i believe my case isn't the worse around la. but yeah, lets try to work around it.

someone has to hide my maxim collection from benny.

and YES, neverwinter nights 1 has reached DOWNLOAD COMPLETE status. fun starts here.

( yada yada. all that talk about getting focused about FYP.)

----------

SHIT. SUNBURNT BACK IS KILLING ME.

something even a sadomasochist wouldn't be proud of.

mos 2

2006-12-11T00:08:00.000+08:00

i must say that clubbing at MOS wasnt that fantastic again. now tell me why I'm beginning to dislike that place uhh.

drinks were alright. cheap in fact, but the rest of them didnt drink much. KON would understand lah. the 3 things i learnt last night. if can avoid, avoid la hor, chok ?

graveyards, barons and smirnoffs still rock my boat. put me on cloud 8. not 9 yet.

saw a whole bunch of farmiliar faces though. and because there isn't gonna be anything else productive to come from this fuddle-duddle (read:mundane) blog entry, i shall exercise my photographical memory by regurgitating all them names. wuahah

people who were sighted :

weijian and beelye, darren quek, nicole(brother), JY, melissa and gang, qingyi and her girls, samantha penelope fok and friends, randall, ernest, jinjie, yuvanesh and raj, lappie look-alike and ARGH, cannot remember. didn't see SAUSAGE this time though

----------

Alfian's phone fell from his pocket when someone called and is eternally entombed somewhere at the bottom of the Singapore River now. poor guy

no matter how expensive the phone is, a mobile phone's still a valuable possession la.

imagine all that trouble to get back all your contacts and stuff. apply for new sim card, buy new phone. DEPRESSING.

i was on the phone with lovely 'Liz who bothered to even entertain half-drunk me at 4am in the morning. i know i was being a jerk 'liz and im aware that i talked about alot of stuff i shouldn't have. my fault really. next time you should have slammed the phone. but THANK YOU. i appreciated it.

A fallen phone, an angry man, a panicky girlfriend, a half drunk friend. A NATION WEEPS.

----------

to the Horsemen reading this : the vodka arrived you bitches. don't kehkeh hide satu korner then don't pay up. i am dirt poor and i need the money. $73 would go a long way to aid me.

For that $73, i would eat pork, probably play DC and yes, worship Andrea Teo. so yerh. see what kinda effect it has on me ?

maybe just not the DC part. afterall, even Kon's holy/noble peppermint tea sacrifice failed to move me.

so ah, PAY UP LAH. GIA LUI LAI. MAI HOR LIM BEI GUAI LAN.

bunch of si gin nas.

so paikia lah. Gwendolyn would be proud of me i know. hahaha

nvn2

2006-12-02T00:17:00.000+08:00

i figured that Neverwinter Nights 2 can like totally suck the social life out of you.

once you are hooked on it, it becomes your religion. it effectively rules you. scary it is

you begin to realize that nothing else is meaningful or makes sense. not even ACJC girls.

yes hakim, i had to mention that. or you'll cook my dog.

you even pass up opportunities to adjourn to the local tavern for a couple of cold ones.

----------

I was wow-ed by RP's architecture the other day. went up places where the normal peon student wouldn't be allowed to.

and the campus' astounding beeyootiful from the top. everything looks sophisticated and done up with a touch of class.

maybe not if you considered how the CHINA workers messed up the building of the RPC walkway. the bleddy roof leaks whenever it rains.

school is coming to an end. im gonna miss the place, the people, the modules(ok. maybe not)

gonna make the best out of this. would only be students once. and only 19 once, it seems.

gawd i envy my AIR' level peers. one major week of examinations(plus loads of mugging before that) and its over.

quite unlike us poly peons. weeks and weeks of torturous course work.

and its made worse over at RP. where you have 2 FYPs to kill you with.

poly peon poly peon poly peon. nice ring to it.

----------

Ravi was back to his normal self last week. yeah, that means telling lame jokes.

happened when :

RAVI : (in thick indian accent) SO IZ Y'ANY TEAM GOING TO WOLUNTEER TO PRESENT FIRST? IF THERE IZ NO WOLUNTEER DA, THEN YA'I SHALL PICK THE WOLUNTEER. *smiles*

CED : IF THAT'S THE CASE, THEN IT WOULDNT BE A MATTER OF VOLUNTEERING ANYMORE.

RAVI : YES, BUT...

CED & CHRIS : WUAHHAHAHHAHA

----------

crap. RAVI. haha

napfa

2006-11-24T21:38:00.000+08:00

i had UT and napfa test just now.

and hit home from MOS's Tertiary Fling at 7.30am. not bad i think. slept for a while and YY gave me a shout up at 12.

not the case for Alfian, Anson, Dillhan, Lionel and Zack though. uh ohh. sometimes i wonder who reads my blog really. hahaha

poor people had to hit home, wash up and prepare for school. HA. suckers.

regular and vanilla clubbing lah. not too bad it seemed. but the place was jammed packed. everyone was up for free entry. Daniel exclaimed that there were 11,000 people clocked in.

i swear Graveyard works my mind real good. woohoo. add a couple of baccardi breezers and I'm good to go.

well, was refreshing i thought. needed the dancing and music. no girls. nuff' said.

----------

UT was bad. just bad. well, it was Intrusion Detection Systems after all. my Achilles heel. didn't manage to finish(Again)

Napfa did make things a little better though. For those wondering, ill just say that i did well uh.

It pays to be humble. because people would hate simply because of inferiority.

better another acquaintance than another foe.

was pulled down by my pull-ups as expected. breezed through the other stations though.

little disappointing for the shuttle run. could have done better. but already hit 5 pts, so no point going again.

2.4km was the one where many guys dropped like flies. hokkien paikias obviously cannot run to save their nuts. 2.4km was tougher than i thought.

my new shoes let me down. the eyelet for the right shoe broke, my flat foot gave me problems and yes, runner's STITCH again. was unbearably painful.

I ran till i could feel the bile liquid working its way up my throat. you know that salty liquid just before you puke ? yeah. definitely wasn't a nice feeling.

Am happy for myself. i placed my limits to the test and came out guns blazing.

----------

and now comes the ranting bit.

How i find it... well. rather quaint i shall say.

Goes like. if you don't like your girlfriend to be talking to her guy friend too often, then wouldn't it be personal responsibility on your part to sound the guy out yourself and give him a piece of your mind instead of taking it out on your girlfriend ?

I don't pick fights, i believe that many things can be settled via words. i certainly am not a trouble-maker either. But if I am forced to defend myself, then i would.

people are definitely gonna read this i know. but i don't see a point really. forcing someone to end all forms of contact with a friend.

now lets all look, it isn't about enforcing masculinity, a show of mental strength or influence. but it does speak volumes about what kinda person you are.

yeah. it may have sounded a little sore, but oh well, it isn't my relationship really. so yeah, no say in the matter.

----------

i realized that the above CAN and WOULD end a friendship. i thought long and hard about selecting the whole chunk and deleting it. I didn't

why you are seeing this chunk here uh.. its a piece of my mind. and to my good friend, its perfectly fine if you get angry. because you have the right to.

God decide, then.

kayubin

2006-11-18T22:41:00.000+08:00

this very bee-yoo-tiful week was rounded off in intensely athletic fashion.

there was roadrun on thursday and pulau ubin trip today.

i swear i feel alive and kicking after a whole dormant period without sports.

sports can be better than sex. or andrea teo.

i feel like i can take on Napfa anytime.

----------

Thursday night was fantastic really.

ran to Jalan Kayu from Yishun with good friend Andrea one-hot-fuck Teo.
good way to train up cos of the incentive at the end. the famous prata. yerh.

one of us had $20 in his underwear and the other had $10. secure storage really.

had barely any moolah back for the trip back.( lazy to run back la)
ended up praying for the Emperor to be with us on the cab back to Yishun.

$7 proved sufficient in the end. wonder what would happen if the cab reached its destination and we only had $7 to pay.

or if the meter would hit $7 and we get the driver to dump us somewhere along Seletar.

did hit home safe and sound though. i had to run for the last train. power pack.
what an achievement. i am once more proud of myself i swear.

----------

Ubin earlier today wasnt that bad. we ALL had fun.

Trevor and Jon got to flash their B-cups. oh glorious B cups.

you should have seen them swishing around. \m/ baby.

Definitely had more exercise than the other time. Bikers this time more steady.

took pictures too. dumb ones. anything involving me is. i PERSONIFY dumbness.

Trevor had some huge accident. para-glided over the rail and created a huge impression amongst the lallangs. poor guy's shoes flew off as well from the impact. wounds and scratches all over. what an impact it must have been.

but not to worry mon, you came away with battle scars and the purple heart.

good day to spend outside with good company. not so nice considering how much we spent. sigh

----------

outdoor activities like these are excellent in challenging your physical and metal capabilities. exactly how much punishment your body can take. i love a good challenge and coming up on top.

real morale booster. guess I've always been one to push myself to the end of my limits until i can go no more and then try to go even more. maybe its the way i grew up where i lived through discrimination, underestimation and people constantly belittling me/put me down. everyone back then made me feel useless.

perhaps my competitive streak stemmed from there. when i know I'm good at something, i want the world to know. not trying to sound arrogant or overconfident, but sometimes, people want their strengths to be acknowledged or recognised.

the whole chunk of emo shat above is reminding me of the mother.

i shall not continue.